Books
A Feast for Crows
Written by: George RR Martin
8/10
Originally, GRRM had written A Feast for Crows and "A Dance of Dragons" together, but ultimately it grew to be several thousand pages long and he felt (rightly so) that publishers and readers may find this difficult to digest. So he made the decision to split it in to two book,s but instead of simply cutting it in the middle to separate the massive story instalment, he decided that it would be "better to tell the whole story of half of the characters, then half the story for all of the characters" in "A Feast for Crows".
This is a pretty bold move not just because GRRM is depending on half of his characters being able to carry the full weight of the story, but also because this means thematic ties between the separated character stories and archs have to stand on their own. I think for the most part, this move paid off and it was the right choice. While Brienne can't hold her own to save her life, the enhanced focus on Kings Landing (Cersei, Jaime, and the Tyrells), Sam & Gilly (unexpectedly amazing), Dorne (The sand vipers and Doran Martell), Braavos (Arya), The Vale (Petyr and Sansa) and the pirates (Easily the best thing GRRM has ever done) was consistently really interesting and I can guarantee that the pirate stuff in particular wouldn't have hit as hard or been as engrossing if it had been sprinkled over 3500 pages instead of given the focus they deserve.
So, the feel and "flavour" of this instalment is certainly very different than the other 3 books in the series so far (and I suspect "Dragons" will be the same). Also, because of my cat dying and some work/COVID19 stress, I did not read as consistently as I usually do. I find I'm having a hard time posing a cohesive summation of my thoughts on this one, but I know it was excellent. When I think of it in parts and then piece together all of the moving bits which connect them, it is every bit as immersive and brilliant as the rest. Brienne and her knightly bullshit is the only real weak point, but even then I loved the swamp and volcano people and the examination of how the dominant religion in Westeros works in the less politically relevant realms.
The examination of other religions and cultures on the outlying realms is probably the greatest strength of this instalment. Its funny, I'd have never expected the pirates and their religion to be the most politically intriguing and engrossing of the series, but they are! The Drowned God and the priestly practices of such are my absolute favourite, and Euron has one of the most compelling backstories yet. I loved every moment with the various pirate protagonists and it actually made up for the loss of Davos chapters. It's such a shame they were meme'd to "finger in de bum" man because his backstory and conquests are some of the most brutal and badass of the series.
Finally, I want to touch on what was most surprising to me, and that's that Sam is quickly becoming one of my favourite characters. Up to this point he seemed more or less just a run of the mill sympathetic character to me, but his journey to Oldtown with Gilly and his character growth thus far have been more emotional than anything Tyrion has put me through so far. That isn't a dig on Tyrion either. It's just that great. Gilly's distress and relationship to Sam is so much more involved and natural than HBO had us see. I think it can be easy to forget Craster and his effects on the realm and his people, but Gilly is a constant reminder and it's great that GRRM doesn't shy away from the conflicts she brings even just to Sam and his thoughts on Jon. I love that Sam isn't actually blindly faithful to Jon in part because of what Gilly is going through and reveals to him, Sam has begun to question Jon's right to make the decisions he does. It's almost as if there is character development and complex ethical/political issues involved here. Wack!
Film & TV
Beastars
Directed by: Shinichi Matsumi
9.5/10
The only reason I didn't give it a 10/10 is because I don't want to be on some list with the FBI. At first I wondered if I should openly admit my love for this show to my friends, but around episode 4 I decided that it is my duty as an asexual person, someone who seems least likely to be watching this just to get my rocks off, to sing it's praises and hopefully bait others in to watching it. As a piece of social and political commentary touching on themes of deviance, class, race, feminism, and masculinity, it is brilliant. Beastars follows its protagonist through an incredible arc involving self-hatred, shame, and guilt, and manages to come to a conclusion that just further opens up the fascinating social rules and world that Beastars takes place in. Characters are interesting, genuine, and all lend their own unique and nuanced perspectives to the issues and mystery at hand. The animation and design of this show is unlike anything I've ever seen and it manages to switch gears with great precision from aesthetic and beautiful to horrifying and dark, to even cutesy at times when it serves the narrative.
I know this is the thing that will get me the most flack and I don't care. Beastars is my favorite anime and probably the only anime or comic book that I want to go out there and spend money on owning. I want Beastars art in my home. I want to talk with infinite people about Beastars. I want a hundred more seasons. I could not have been more shocked by how much I loved Beastars and how often I still think about it. I was ready to tease my husband for the rest of his life about watching Beastars until I gave it a shot.
If this makes me a deviant, so be it. If loving Beastars means I have to tattoo "I'm a dirty girl with a furry fetish" on my ass then so be it. I love Beastars in the least sexual possible way.
Honestly, it's kind of surprising how little sex there is in this show. But I am not complaining because as soon as it did happen, I instantly covered my eyes so that it could not awaken anything in me, I promise. Can you imagine, like can you fucking imagine if Beastars was the thing to awaken my dead sexuality? Fuck it, I kind of wish it had. I would sell the worlds best memoir and be rich.
I suppose I could make it all up and still write a memoir...but then I really would have to give it a 10/10.
And I'm not doing that. I'm just not.
Underworld
Directed by: Len Wiseman
6.5/10
Ok, I am so down for watching the rest of these movies. Was this film super messy and cliche'd and a little fucking much? Oh yes. Was it "good"? I don't know. The lore is kind of curiously unexplored and vacant and a couple of the performances are hilariously bad. The dialogue is also pretty terrible at some points. But god damn does it commit! The aesthetic belongs to itself and itself alone. The costumes could not work in any other film. Even the over-acting kind of works just because of the grandiose nature of everything else. I love the guns, I love the sharp throwing disk thingies, I love Bill Nighy's anime sword. I love all of the costumes and boots and of course I love all of the half naked men, hell even some of the itty bitty gothic titties too! The best thing about this film are the lichen and their transformation which actually holds up pretty well! The soundtrack is fucking dope too. I think this film had the potential of being like "Constantine" for me, but I never felt bored and it never seemed to take itself seriously so my eyes never rolled. I can't say I enjoyed it more than I would have enjoyed a 7/10 film, and I don't know that I could defend basically any part of it that wasn't design-related. But hell, it was a great time and Bill Nighy is god damned incredible in this film- every second he was on screen punching werewolf ass was a second I'll never regret.
Evolution
Directed by: Ivan Reitman
7/10
In case the trend over the last couple months isn't becoming clear, while everything going on around us with COVID19 is happening, Kyle and I have been watching a lot of "comfy" or "silly" movies from his childhood. I find, even on my days off, I am not motivated to really sink my teeth in to the dramas, documentaries, and thrillers I'm usually privy to. This has absolutely nothing to do with Animal Crossing, of course. Nothing at all. It also has nothing to do with getting sucked in to watching Kyle play RDR2. Nope. These things are unrelated to me not watching as many new films as usual.
Anyways, lets talk about Evolution.
I have no idea why this film was so horny. Oh wait, maybe I do. Lets check off those boxes...released in 2001? Yup. Starring David Duchovny? Yup. Aimed at an audience that is family-friendly but "wants to satisfy the adults too"? Uh, yes. Yeah ok so it does add up. It also stars that fucking guy. Fucking, Sean William Scott. I don't know exactly what it is about him, but I can't stand that dude. In this film, I feel like he could literally have been deleted and nothing would change. He has a purpose for exactly 3 minutes in the beginning of the film, and for every moment past that he is just comic relief in the worst of ways.
But boy, this film is fun. I love that everything essentially just exists as an excuse for the monsters to exist and wreck havoc, and I love that there is absolutely no veneer of intelligence in it's execution at all. This movie wants you to have fun and does not care if it makes no sense on it's journey to giving you what it knows you want- monsters of a surprising variety fucking shit up. The final monster is so awesomely huge, too. I can't believe this is a sentence, but I love that they destroy the big bad blob of evolution by giving it a Head and Shoulders shampoo enema.
The chemistry between the two leads is funny and entertaining throughout and it looks legitimately cool at times! It almost seems like Annihilation took this movie and it's core idea, and then actually explored it and made it good. But I didn't go in expecting an Annihilation of course. I went in looking to have fun, and I did!
Se7en
Directed by: David Fincher
7.5/10
I have seen this film before, but much like October Sky it has been over 10 years since I last saw it and my memory of it was fuzzy at best. First things first, Kevin Spacey is excellent. Even though I knew he was coming up when they answered that phone, I got chills hearing his voice. Even though his dialogue hasn't aged super well and is very "WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY", his delivery is bone-chilling and powerful. Even his delivery of the unintentionally hilarious "It seems that envy was my sin all along" is brilliant. That glimmer in his eye, his evil evil eyes...how did we not always know that Kevin Spacey was probably a villain? Maybe we did. In any case, wow. As always I am blown away by Kevin Spacey, and this alone stands out and gives my rating it's extra little bump.
But it is not just for the meme that I give this movie a 7. A lot of it is technically really good. The makeup and special effects still hold up really well and Brad Pitt's performance is consistently emotional and endearing.
However, I just don't know that it really impressed me or held up to my expectations because I remember being blown away and feeling deeply messed up after I first saw it when I was around 15/16 years old. I am willing to admit I am probably suffering some bias here, having lived in society for 25 years since the release of this film which has been over saturated in the gritty New York setting and feel of this film, as well as the edgy "monologues that sound great but don't actually say much" dialogue, I may just be tired of this film. I'm sure in 1995 this was cutting edge stuff and different than the rest. I may even be suffering from some bias because I expected something like Fincher's other films, which of course I love and are a lot more thoughtful and interesting to look at than this one. So I do have a number of biases going in. Nonetheless, it was good to watch it, and great to see Kevin Spacey.
300
Directed by: Zach Snider
9/10
When this movie came out I distinctly remember my stepdad watching it in his basement and the constant sounds of battle cries coming from there. I remember him saying it was awesome and I remember thinking that it was probably just a dumb war movie, because I was like 13 and that was me. However, I am not 13 any more, and it is obvious to me now that this isn't just a dumb boy war movie. It is actually so incredibly awesome and such a spectacle. I was hooked and transfixed the entire time and I can't BELIEVE how good this film still looks. I'm not normally a huge Snyder fan but this appears to be him at his best- ambitious, stylish, and awesome, but also backed up by a great script and some great performances. Mother. Fucking. Michael. Fastbender. His part is small, but god damn. Apparently this is his first film, according to IMDB. I am not always a huge sucker for comic book movies, but much like Spiderverse I love and respect that this film actually commits to the style and storytelling techniques of it's source material. Everything was so perfectly done and not one second was wasted. Of course it is over the top. Of course it is gory. But it is also bizarre at times, with a goat playing a sitar, and the creativity and commitment to it's artistic vision is unyielding throughout the entire film. The war rhinos and elephants were some of my favorites, and I'm also not complaining about the spectacular nudity. I don't know that I've ever used the phrase "spectacular nudity" before in my life, but it applies here. The sex scene is great, the oracle dancing fluidly in that smoke with her is great, and Gerard Butler's power stance butt is great. Its been a long time since an action film legitimately had my heart thumping the way this one did. It's been an even longer time since combat had me audibly gasping and cheering.
300 is one of those things that 13 year old me would be shocked to see future me giving a 9/10. But I was dumb and shortsighted, and I am so glad I'm not 13 any more. Whats Eating Gilbert Grape is great and all, but Pay it Forward isn't even good. Sorry brah.
Paul
Directed by:
8/10
I can't believe how sweet this film was. I'm not sure where I got this impression, but some trailer or something lead me to believe this was a weed film like Pineapple Express. I was hesitant to watch it until I needed a dumb weed film, and I chose to watch it because that time arrived.
But god damn, I was wrong. Yeah, it has Seth Rogen and there is weed in it. But it isn't a "weed film". It was actually a sweet, legitimately funny, and unexpectedly well written buddy film. Maybe I actually should've expected this because of Simon Pegg and all, but I was really pleasantly surprised. The natural friendship between the main characters feels genuine and got plenty of laughs out of me. I also adore this UFO-inspired road-trip that they take where them simply being nerds is never the punchline at their expense. Paul had such a kind-hearted nature to him and is strange and wacky at times but the comedy is never "woooooah look at this alien that smokes weed hahahahaha". It's all situational or clever dialogue based comedy and I really enjoyed it. My only complaint is, shockingly, Kristen Wiig. Normally I love Kristen Wiig but I found the majority of her character and dialogue, and the romance between her and Pegg as a whole, kind of cringy and reddit aestheist. Her learning to swear got a few laughs out of me but that's mostly due to Wiig's delivery. so it really wasn't her fault, its just the script made her kind of annoying I guess.
Finally, Hader's murder line "Tell him you failed!" is the greatest god damn murder line in cinema. Don't @ me. You know I'm right.
Sweeney Todd
Directed by: Tim Burton
7/10
A lot of this movie is really cool and aesthetic and lead by compelling performance by Johnny Depp and an equally entertaining Helena Bonham Carter. However, a not insignificant part of this movie is this mongrel British dude singing "Johanna" in an attempt to move forward this super contrived and cringy romance plot that is completely abandoned at the end of the film. You can remove this dude and Johanna pretty much completely and nothing changes. I can tell the romance plot is in there to attract the gothic teenage girl audience or something and it just flat out sucks. However, praise be upon him, Sasha Baren Cohen is in this for about 7 minutes who is absolutely without doubt the best part of this film and makes up for all that Johanna crap.
Aesthetically, this movie *fucks*. It is definitely drenched in Tim Burton but also has it's own unique flair in costume design. Sweeney's outfits are always awesome and whoever does his hair and makeup definitely should've gotten some recognition because it is excellent. The music is mostly good. It all kind of sounds the same but not always in a particularly bad way. Johnny Depp incorporating anger in to his songs is thrilling, convincing, and emotional. My husband and I both sincerely enjoyed the supremely based song about baking some priests in to a pie and how excellent it will be for the rich to finally be supporting the poor for once. Finally, the ending tableau is beautiful. Though it was cliche and not unexpected, it still hit in all the right places.
All in all this was a pretty fun musical that appears to have aged fairly well, especially in light of recent economic woke attitudes this movie proudly displays. I just can't pass down a musical about a vengeful dude and his extremely thirsty landlord working together to bake the rich in to pies. At first you may think that we were reading in to this a little bit because of our obvious bias, but if you pay attention there is actually a crucial scene right in the midst of a murder spree where Sweeney shaves a dude and he leaves the chair unharmed and goes back to his family. Sweeney does not mean everyone should die when he sings "they all deserve to die", just the rich. 'Nuff said Sweeney. 'Nuff said.
The Farwell
Directed by: Lulu Wang
10/10
This may contend with Thunder Road as my favourite film I've seen this year.
I was surprised by how "educational" this film was for me. I ended up leaving with a lot of new information and perspective on Chinese culture especially in regards to how grief, family, immigration, and duty play out. One thing I love about foreign films which address the immigrant experience is that I always get more from it than I expect. The issue of identity and pride for immigrants seems obvious at first but I am constantly blown away by how many other layers there are to it that I didn't even consider. At this point, I almost want to seek out films and memoirs which address this kind of complex betrayal and spirituality involved in leaving your home country and family for a perceived "better life". The thing is though, this is only maybe 10% of this film. The whole examination on immigration and how it shapes Billi's identity makes her narrative, emotion, and relationships to her extended family and culture more rich and interesting, but it is far from the focus of the film. This is also the case with the way her native Chinese language, practices, and beliefs become complicated by the respective American language, practices, and beliefs she has lived with and incorporated in to herself over the last couple decades.
After watching this film I did some research to see how common this kind of "lie" set up in the film really is and I was surprised to learn that it is a lot more common than even this story leads you to believe. Knowing this and seeing the emotional perspective of this cultural practice portrayed in the film gave me this huge "ah-ha" moment in my understanding of Chinese religions that I studied in college and I honestly couldn't stop thinking about this movie from that perspective for days afterwards.
Not only is this movie fascinating and emotional, but it is also often really funny and has a really beautiful aesthetic to it. The lighting and cinematography of this film was really excellent and unique and I found that it actually moved the emotion forward in a way I don't often see in character-driven films like this. I'm thinking about re-watching this movie in May if only just to feel that warmth, melancholy, and organic joy I felt while watching it. Finally, it would be criminal for me not to mention the performances. Nai Nai in particular is enigmatic, sweet, and beaming with affection. The script has many characters discussing controversial traditional Chinese sentiments and viewpoints that are effortlessly genuine while not being casually thrown in there just for the sake of setting stage. Having Nai Nai be as wholesome and loving as she is while also maintaining her traditional judgemental attitudes has the combined effect of humanising these views, exposing how they may be harmful, but refraining from any kind of judgement. This also keeps dialogue interesting even when the emphasis is on emotion or exposition.
So there are a billion reasons why this film had my attention and heart through the entire run time. I couldn't recommend this enough to anyone looking for a story with a big heart and lots to say about Chinese culture and the immigrant experience.
Ted
Directed by: Seth Mcfarlane
3/10
Yeah. I'm a little embarrassed of this one. Somehow more embarrassed than I've felt about reporting back from "Land of the Lost" and things like that, and that's because I half expected this to be a fun shit watch and I had fairly fond memories of it too! I distinctly remember seeing this in theatres with my high school friends the last summer I lived in Calgary and leaving thinking it was super funny. Well shit, I guess it turns out we were really fucking dumb, because this movie is really un-funny. 80% of the jokes are just un-creative and flat references and the other 20% is...ugh, I hate to have to say this, but just offensive. Yeah I guess I was triggered, but in my defence this movie genuinely hates women. I did not remember this AT ALL from seeing it 8 years ago, but again it turns out I wasn't as woke when I was 18 I guess. Also, I think I also hated women when I was 18. Go figure. Also, there are at least 5 fart jokes and they are...cringy at best. Even for fart jokes, they are bad. Like...Seth Mcfarlane level bad.
Ok, but lets live in an imaginary world where this movie did succeed at being funny. After all, there were 3 or 4 bits that did actually get laughs out of us (even some of the "offensive" humour). Lets live in that world for a moment. Even in that world, this movie couldn't be higher than a soft 6 and that is because the third act is abysmally long, slow, and unnecessary. I genuinely can't think of a more poorly done third act in any other film.
Finally, Mila Kunis's character saying that it doesn't hurt that her boyfriend (Mark Walberg) is the hottest guy in Boston is completely insane especially because Joel Mchale also lives in this Boston. Yeah...ok Mark Walberg. How much dick did you have to suck to get that line in the movie? Get outta here.
The Color Out of Space
Directed by: Richard Stanley
8.5/10
This movie is as good as the poster makes it look and absolutely lived up to my hype. The first 15 minutes or so are a little rough because Stanley so clearly does not give a fuck about the set-up, but as soon as colors start to happen holy goddamned fuck strap in and start praying to your God, folks. For instance, there is a dinner scene early on that is hilariously terrible and my husband jokes that it was so bad and stole him away from his immersion so severely that he literally just began seeing the awful script roll up instead of what was actually happening on screen. It is so odd to even consider the first 15 minutes as part of this film because it seems like it comes from a completely different universe...and I guess it kind of does in a way. Reflecting on the film I almost had to remind myself that there was a set up, that this family and farm was actually there unfettered by Lovecraftian horror before everything happens. The movie is so insane and untethered from that reality, it's difficult to even conceptualise that it began as something so unassuming and even "cozy".
You can definitely see a lot of influence from "Mandy" and "Annihilation" in this film. A lot of times I found myself thinking of Annihilation, especially in the first half, and the sci-fi concepts are quite similar too. It's kind of like Annihilation except infinitely more horror, gore, and tripling down on the creature design and aesthetics. There is not one moment of this film after the half way mark that isn't a firehose to the face of Lovecraftian horror, and it was incredible. I feel like I left this experience with radioactive brain cancer and I still feel so honoured to have received it.
One odd thing about this movie...and I hesitate to even use the word "odd" because it's so much more jarring and challenging for me to sum up...is how Nic Cage fits in to all this. For a little while, you will genuinely feel tricked. You will be looking for Nic Cage because you know he stars in this and you wont see him at first. And then there he is, Nic Caging like a beastly dance through the cosmos unrestrained by any Earthly notions the character had before. For most of the film his performance is incredible and deeply unsettling. Watching him in this felt like watching a chemical burn on your own body. It was horrifying but also fascinating and colourful beyond anything I could describe here. But there are also moments where an entirely less nuanced Nic Cage makes an appearance and you see him screaming at his tomatoes.
You know, IMBD tells me that Richard Stanley's favourite Nic Cage film is "Vampires Kiss" and he specifically asked Nic Cage to channel that same energy in to his movie. This is one of those facts that I suppose I technically learned, and yet the moment I read the words I felt like I'd known it all along. Someone could show me evidence of this being a lie, and I would not believe them. I stake my entire understanding of the Universe, this movie, and Nic Cage on the fact that this is true. Also, apparently at some point both Nic Cage and Richard Stanley were on the hunt for the legitimate holy grail. That was just something both of these men had dedicated a bit of their lives to.
See. Tell me that fact doesn't sit with you in a place other facts don't get the privilege of being in.
Midsommar
Directed by: Ari Aster
10/10
Rewatching this film confirms for me that both of Ari Aster's films are hard 10/10s, but I definately prefer this one. Comparing them doesn't even seem fair because while both definately expose the raw and horrific side of human suffering, pain, and ritual, they communicate this focus in completely different ways. Both films do this thing that I love intellectually and hate in a gutteral animal-fear kind of way, and that is how gasping and crying is captured. It is never dramatic or sad in the way other films showcase a grieving or traumatised person. Instead, these sounds are howling, grating, ugly, and the gasps are sharp and seem to be done with the entire body. I have experienced these kinds of gasps before, and Florence Pugh's performance of constant strain and wretched emotion really hit home for me, but this film has the unique experience of managing to translate these very brutal and unwelcome emotions to the viewer in a nauseating way I'll never forgive him for. I will never forgive Ari Aster for the scene where Christian the slug man is on a bad trip and that whole orgy sequence. I have never felt so disorientated in my whole life and just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.
Basically the whole film makes me feel ill and right on the brink of breaking down and running in fear, and it's not even that it is a "horror" movie exactly. This isn't a particularly deep cut, but I think the reason that everyone who sees this movie feels these things even if the movie isn't "scary" or even really gory, is because it evokes the trauma and stress of internal horror instead of providing a situational horror for us to react to.
The strangest thing too, and I say "strange" even though it is absolutely the point, is that I can't help but feel romantically inclined toward the Midsommar society even as the whole thing is making me feel like I'm going to break down at any moment. It isn't just the aesthetic and it isn't even just the obvious "fun" of some of the things like the dancing. Oddly enough I actually thought of Little Women on more than one occasion while watching this for the second time, even if my emotional reaction to those two movies couldn't be more polarised. Both movies drive home the importance of supporting each other and the pleasure of doing things together. When done together, even things like baking meat pies and sobbing on your bed can be therapeutic and healthy in ways modern society doesn't offer as readily. Pelle explaining to Dani that the reason these traditions live on has less to do with social pressure and more to do with the benefit of "feeling held" and having this communal space to feel grief and madness together is one of the more important moments in this film and its done beautifully.
Midsommar couldn't be a stronger 10/10. Its cliche and kind of lazy to sum up a great movie by saying "its more than a movie, its an experience" but its really true in the case of "Midsommar".
Video Games
Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Created by: Katsuya Eguchi
10/10
No one reading this wants me to write about this. What can I say that hasn't already been said? Everyone is tired of hearing about it. So I will keep it brief.
I don't know how this is possible, but this game exceeded it's astronomically unrealistic hype and expectations. I think there are a lot of reasons that this game not only succeeds as a milestone in the series, but as a completely unique and culturally important piece of art for 2020. It is uncanny how perfectly timed the release of this game was in the wake of COVID19 and for myself personally, in a month of overwhelming grief and stress. I owe so much to this franchise. When I played it as a child, it helped me get through a very challenging transition between legal guardians and as I play it as an adult it has helped me stay in a routine of calming mindfulness and forgiveness. If this game can be kind to me, so too can I be kind to myself. If I can take the time each morning to make slow but satisfying progress in a creative pursuit with no pressure whatsoever and zero repercussions for mistakes, I can also take the time for myself each day to grieve how I need to and come to peace for the things I cannot accomplish while living through a pandemic and the stress/grief accompanying my personal and professional life.
I think it is rare that a game which involves a kind of daily ritual is considered a "good thing" and not manipulative or costly. In ACNH there is no demand for you to do *anything*. You do not need to log on daily or check in at certain times. There is no penalty if you miss these things, only rewards whenever you do check in. Even the rewards are different than a lot of games which reward repeated log-ins. The reward isn't money or experience, but the opportunity to create closer bonds with villagers, to see more creative options available to you, to enhance your island and play experience. No matter what, ACNH meets you where you are and says "its great to see you. We love what you have done. Enjoy your day".
There is so much room for creative opportunity in this game. One thing I am particularly proud of is my Godzilla point complete with Mothra and a lighthouse, a memorial beach, and a room in my house dedicated to a desert Kermit the frog aesthetic. But even then, there are days or stretches of days at a time where I do nothing. I just casually fish, meet up with my friends on their islands and praise them for their work, try on hats, design sweaters, just sit on the beach and talk to my villagers about their "daily bidet routines". This game makes me smile and take a breather and I love that it follows my real time. If it is a gloomy day in the real world, it may be bright and sunny on my island. If I am too depressed to leave my bed on a Saturday morning, I may catch the beautiful break of dawn on my island and there may be a random visitor arriving hoping to sell me exotic goods, fraud paintings, or teach me about astronomy. The wind may be howling and threatening at night, but its silvery and calm on my island and my villagers want me to sing with them at their bonfire. It may be a Saturday night in quarantine, but KK Slider is on my island taking requests (K.K Steppe. Always).
I love this game.
Darkest Dungeons
Developed by: Red Hook Games
8.5/10
This game is kind of like a slot machine sometimes. I can't deny that at least 1/3rd of my experience in this game is me writhing in anger and futility as I go from being completely set up and ready to kick ass, to being completely fucked because of a dozen missed shots, bad virtue tests causing exponential stress across the party, and heart attcks and death blows until I've lost all faith in the game. I can't tell you how many times I levelled up a dude, gave him great trinkets, and released him in to the wild like a proud mother, only to have him slip in to a RNG pit and die. Its awful. BUT, and I can't stress this enough, I simply cannot stay mad at this game or the reliance on RNG. Once you go in with the mindset of working with and not against the RNG, the experience as a whole is always nothing short of thrilling and nail-bitingly intense. The highs are incredibly high and the lows are devastating. The risks are always there and you hold your breath after every decision made. A lot of games have critical hits but none feel as good as the critical hits done in this game. In some ways playing this actually kind of reminded me of playing D&D with my friends back in the day. There was always the risk of perma-death, critical hits were rare but very exciting, and critical misses always shocking and devastating. Risk-assessment is a really interesting dynamic in this game as well as in D&D when done right and even if it feels kind of like a gross addiction or abusive relationship, I keep on coming back for more and it's an exhilarating rush every time.
Also, I'd be crazy not to mention the narration in this game. It is awesome.
The Touryst
Developed by: Shin'en Multimedia
7/10
The main plot and "story mission" of the game is not particularly interesting or good. In fact, one dungeon was so irritating, I nearly quit the game entirely only about half-way through. However what stuck with me after finishing this game wasn't this, but the minigames. I love that The Touryst is a mini-game centric adventure game and hardly tries to be anything else. If the 4 dungeons could've been less puzzle/platform heavy (the controls are janky and the puzzles way too easy), this could have easily been a 9 or 10/10 game for me.
The retro sunny aesthetic of this game is great because it doesn't look like every other retro-inspired game but it still feels warm and nostalgic. There are a lot of charming little touches you find throughout your exploration and you can tell a lot of love and care was put in to this project. The mini-games are naturally the star of this experience and they never disappoint. Every little adventure from surfing, flying a drone, playing flash games in the arcade, soccer, and paddling a canoe are fun and satisfying and never so challenging or time consuming that they feel like a chore. The adventure aspects are spaced out well and offer just the right amount of running back and forth between the 6 adorable themed islands before it would get exhausting. My personal favourite mini game was mining for diamonds. It's impressive how tense and fun it was considering how low the stakes are and low little time it took to complete. Buying new records for the DJ on Ibiza was also neat. This was just a neat little game and I think part of it's appeal is that childlike glee you get from the mini-games that more often than not feel like the flash games of my childhood or those weird little video game consoles you'd get in cereal boxes, but with the flashy aesthetics of present times.
A Feast for CrowsWritten by: George RR Martin
8/10
Originally, GRRM had written A Feast for Crows and "A Dance of Dragons" together, but ultimately it grew to be several thousand pages long and he felt (rightly so) that publishers and readers may find this difficult to digest. So he made the decision to split it in to two book,s but instead of simply cutting it in the middle to separate the massive story instalment, he decided that it would be "better to tell the whole story of half of the characters, then half the story for all of the characters" in "A Feast for Crows".
This is a pretty bold move not just because GRRM is depending on half of his characters being able to carry the full weight of the story, but also because this means thematic ties between the separated character stories and archs have to stand on their own. I think for the most part, this move paid off and it was the right choice. While Brienne can't hold her own to save her life, the enhanced focus on Kings Landing (Cersei, Jaime, and the Tyrells), Sam & Gilly (unexpectedly amazing), Dorne (The sand vipers and Doran Martell), Braavos (Arya), The Vale (Petyr and Sansa) and the pirates (Easily the best thing GRRM has ever done) was consistently really interesting and I can guarantee that the pirate stuff in particular wouldn't have hit as hard or been as engrossing if it had been sprinkled over 3500 pages instead of given the focus they deserve.
So, the feel and "flavour" of this instalment is certainly very different than the other 3 books in the series so far (and I suspect "Dragons" will be the same). Also, because of my cat dying and some work/COVID19 stress, I did not read as consistently as I usually do. I find I'm having a hard time posing a cohesive summation of my thoughts on this one, but I know it was excellent. When I think of it in parts and then piece together all of the moving bits which connect them, it is every bit as immersive and brilliant as the rest. Brienne and her knightly bullshit is the only real weak point, but even then I loved the swamp and volcano people and the examination of how the dominant religion in Westeros works in the less politically relevant realms.
The examination of other religions and cultures on the outlying realms is probably the greatest strength of this instalment. Its funny, I'd have never expected the pirates and their religion to be the most politically intriguing and engrossing of the series, but they are! The Drowned God and the priestly practices of such are my absolute favourite, and Euron has one of the most compelling backstories yet. I loved every moment with the various pirate protagonists and it actually made up for the loss of Davos chapters. It's such a shame they were meme'd to "finger in de bum" man because his backstory and conquests are some of the most brutal and badass of the series.
Finally, I want to touch on what was most surprising to me, and that's that Sam is quickly becoming one of my favourite characters. Up to this point he seemed more or less just a run of the mill sympathetic character to me, but his journey to Oldtown with Gilly and his character growth thus far have been more emotional than anything Tyrion has put me through so far. That isn't a dig on Tyrion either. It's just that great. Gilly's distress and relationship to Sam is so much more involved and natural than HBO had us see. I think it can be easy to forget Craster and his effects on the realm and his people, but Gilly is a constant reminder and it's great that GRRM doesn't shy away from the conflicts she brings even just to Sam and his thoughts on Jon. I love that Sam isn't actually blindly faithful to Jon in part because of what Gilly is going through and reveals to him, Sam has begun to question Jon's right to make the decisions he does. It's almost as if there is character development and complex ethical/political issues involved here. Wack!
Film & TV
BeastarsDirected by: Shinichi Matsumi
9.5/10
The only reason I didn't give it a 10/10 is because I don't want to be on some list with the FBI. At first I wondered if I should openly admit my love for this show to my friends, but around episode 4 I decided that it is my duty as an asexual person, someone who seems least likely to be watching this just to get my rocks off, to sing it's praises and hopefully bait others in to watching it. As a piece of social and political commentary touching on themes of deviance, class, race, feminism, and masculinity, it is brilliant. Beastars follows its protagonist through an incredible arc involving self-hatred, shame, and guilt, and manages to come to a conclusion that just further opens up the fascinating social rules and world that Beastars takes place in. Characters are interesting, genuine, and all lend their own unique and nuanced perspectives to the issues and mystery at hand. The animation and design of this show is unlike anything I've ever seen and it manages to switch gears with great precision from aesthetic and beautiful to horrifying and dark, to even cutesy at times when it serves the narrative.
I know this is the thing that will get me the most flack and I don't care. Beastars is my favorite anime and probably the only anime or comic book that I want to go out there and spend money on owning. I want Beastars art in my home. I want to talk with infinite people about Beastars. I want a hundred more seasons. I could not have been more shocked by how much I loved Beastars and how often I still think about it. I was ready to tease my husband for the rest of his life about watching Beastars until I gave it a shot.
If this makes me a deviant, so be it. If loving Beastars means I have to tattoo "I'm a dirty girl with a furry fetish" on my ass then so be it. I love Beastars in the least sexual possible way.
Honestly, it's kind of surprising how little sex there is in this show. But I am not complaining because as soon as it did happen, I instantly covered my eyes so that it could not awaken anything in me, I promise. Can you imagine, like can you fucking imagine if Beastars was the thing to awaken my dead sexuality? Fuck it, I kind of wish it had. I would sell the worlds best memoir and be rich.
I suppose I could make it all up and still write a memoir...but then I really would have to give it a 10/10.
And I'm not doing that. I'm just not.
UnderworldDirected by: Len Wiseman
6.5/10
Ok, I am so down for watching the rest of these movies. Was this film super messy and cliche'd and a little fucking much? Oh yes. Was it "good"? I don't know. The lore is kind of curiously unexplored and vacant and a couple of the performances are hilariously bad. The dialogue is also pretty terrible at some points. But god damn does it commit! The aesthetic belongs to itself and itself alone. The costumes could not work in any other film. Even the over-acting kind of works just because of the grandiose nature of everything else. I love the guns, I love the sharp throwing disk thingies, I love Bill Nighy's anime sword. I love all of the costumes and boots and of course I love all of the half naked men, hell even some of the itty bitty gothic titties too! The best thing about this film are the lichen and their transformation which actually holds up pretty well! The soundtrack is fucking dope too. I think this film had the potential of being like "Constantine" for me, but I never felt bored and it never seemed to take itself seriously so my eyes never rolled. I can't say I enjoyed it more than I would have enjoyed a 7/10 film, and I don't know that I could defend basically any part of it that wasn't design-related. But hell, it was a great time and Bill Nighy is god damned incredible in this film- every second he was on screen punching werewolf ass was a second I'll never regret.
EvolutionDirected by: Ivan Reitman
7/10
In case the trend over the last couple months isn't becoming clear, while everything going on around us with COVID19 is happening, Kyle and I have been watching a lot of "comfy" or "silly" movies from his childhood. I find, even on my days off, I am not motivated to really sink my teeth in to the dramas, documentaries, and thrillers I'm usually privy to. This has absolutely nothing to do with Animal Crossing, of course. Nothing at all. It also has nothing to do with getting sucked in to watching Kyle play RDR2. Nope. These things are unrelated to me not watching as many new films as usual.
Anyways, lets talk about Evolution.
I have no idea why this film was so horny. Oh wait, maybe I do. Lets check off those boxes...released in 2001? Yup. Starring David Duchovny? Yup. Aimed at an audience that is family-friendly but "wants to satisfy the adults too"? Uh, yes. Yeah ok so it does add up. It also stars that fucking guy. Fucking, Sean William Scott. I don't know exactly what it is about him, but I can't stand that dude. In this film, I feel like he could literally have been deleted and nothing would change. He has a purpose for exactly 3 minutes in the beginning of the film, and for every moment past that he is just comic relief in the worst of ways.
But boy, this film is fun. I love that everything essentially just exists as an excuse for the monsters to exist and wreck havoc, and I love that there is absolutely no veneer of intelligence in it's execution at all. This movie wants you to have fun and does not care if it makes no sense on it's journey to giving you what it knows you want- monsters of a surprising variety fucking shit up. The final monster is so awesomely huge, too. I can't believe this is a sentence, but I love that they destroy the big bad blob of evolution by giving it a Head and Shoulders shampoo enema.
The chemistry between the two leads is funny and entertaining throughout and it looks legitimately cool at times! It almost seems like Annihilation took this movie and it's core idea, and then actually explored it and made it good. But I didn't go in expecting an Annihilation of course. I went in looking to have fun, and I did!
Directed by: David Fincher
7.5/10
I have seen this film before, but much like October Sky it has been over 10 years since I last saw it and my memory of it was fuzzy at best. First things first, Kevin Spacey is excellent. Even though I knew he was coming up when they answered that phone, I got chills hearing his voice. Even though his dialogue hasn't aged super well and is very "WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY", his delivery is bone-chilling and powerful. Even his delivery of the unintentionally hilarious "It seems that envy was my sin all along" is brilliant. That glimmer in his eye, his evil evil eyes...how did we not always know that Kevin Spacey was probably a villain? Maybe we did. In any case, wow. As always I am blown away by Kevin Spacey, and this alone stands out and gives my rating it's extra little bump.
But it is not just for the meme that I give this movie a 7. A lot of it is technically really good. The makeup and special effects still hold up really well and Brad Pitt's performance is consistently emotional and endearing.
However, I just don't know that it really impressed me or held up to my expectations because I remember being blown away and feeling deeply messed up after I first saw it when I was around 15/16 years old. I am willing to admit I am probably suffering some bias here, having lived in society for 25 years since the release of this film which has been over saturated in the gritty New York setting and feel of this film, as well as the edgy "monologues that sound great but don't actually say much" dialogue, I may just be tired of this film. I'm sure in 1995 this was cutting edge stuff and different than the rest. I may even be suffering from some bias because I expected something like Fincher's other films, which of course I love and are a lot more thoughtful and interesting to look at than this one. So I do have a number of biases going in. Nonetheless, it was good to watch it, and great to see Kevin Spacey.
Directed by: Zach Snider
9/10
When this movie came out I distinctly remember my stepdad watching it in his basement and the constant sounds of battle cries coming from there. I remember him saying it was awesome and I remember thinking that it was probably just a dumb war movie, because I was like 13 and that was me. However, I am not 13 any more, and it is obvious to me now that this isn't just a dumb boy war movie. It is actually so incredibly awesome and such a spectacle. I was hooked and transfixed the entire time and I can't BELIEVE how good this film still looks. I'm not normally a huge Snyder fan but this appears to be him at his best- ambitious, stylish, and awesome, but also backed up by a great script and some great performances. Mother. Fucking. Michael. Fastbender. His part is small, but god damn. Apparently this is his first film, according to IMDB. I am not always a huge sucker for comic book movies, but much like Spiderverse I love and respect that this film actually commits to the style and storytelling techniques of it's source material. Everything was so perfectly done and not one second was wasted. Of course it is over the top. Of course it is gory. But it is also bizarre at times, with a goat playing a sitar, and the creativity and commitment to it's artistic vision is unyielding throughout the entire film. The war rhinos and elephants were some of my favorites, and I'm also not complaining about the spectacular nudity. I don't know that I've ever used the phrase "spectacular nudity" before in my life, but it applies here. The sex scene is great, the oracle dancing fluidly in that smoke with her is great, and Gerard Butler's power stance butt is great. Its been a long time since an action film legitimately had my heart thumping the way this one did. It's been an even longer time since combat had me audibly gasping and cheering.
300 is one of those things that 13 year old me would be shocked to see future me giving a 9/10. But I was dumb and shortsighted, and I am so glad I'm not 13 any more. Whats Eating Gilbert Grape is great and all, but Pay it Forward isn't even good. Sorry brah.
Directed by:
8/10
I can't believe how sweet this film was. I'm not sure where I got this impression, but some trailer or something lead me to believe this was a weed film like Pineapple Express. I was hesitant to watch it until I needed a dumb weed film, and I chose to watch it because that time arrived.
But god damn, I was wrong. Yeah, it has Seth Rogen and there is weed in it. But it isn't a "weed film". It was actually a sweet, legitimately funny, and unexpectedly well written buddy film. Maybe I actually should've expected this because of Simon Pegg and all, but I was really pleasantly surprised. The natural friendship between the main characters feels genuine and got plenty of laughs out of me. I also adore this UFO-inspired road-trip that they take where them simply being nerds is never the punchline at their expense. Paul had such a kind-hearted nature to him and is strange and wacky at times but the comedy is never "woooooah look at this alien that smokes weed hahahahaha". It's all situational or clever dialogue based comedy and I really enjoyed it. My only complaint is, shockingly, Kristen Wiig. Normally I love Kristen Wiig but I found the majority of her character and dialogue, and the romance between her and Pegg as a whole, kind of cringy and reddit aestheist. Her learning to swear got a few laughs out of me but that's mostly due to Wiig's delivery. so it really wasn't her fault, its just the script made her kind of annoying I guess.
Finally, Hader's murder line "Tell him you failed!" is the greatest god damn murder line in cinema. Don't @ me. You know I'm right.
Sweeney ToddDirected by: Tim Burton
7/10
A lot of this movie is really cool and aesthetic and lead by compelling performance by Johnny Depp and an equally entertaining Helena Bonham Carter. However, a not insignificant part of this movie is this mongrel British dude singing "Johanna" in an attempt to move forward this super contrived and cringy romance plot that is completely abandoned at the end of the film. You can remove this dude and Johanna pretty much completely and nothing changes. I can tell the romance plot is in there to attract the gothic teenage girl audience or something and it just flat out sucks. However, praise be upon him, Sasha Baren Cohen is in this for about 7 minutes who is absolutely without doubt the best part of this film and makes up for all that Johanna crap.
Aesthetically, this movie *fucks*. It is definitely drenched in Tim Burton but also has it's own unique flair in costume design. Sweeney's outfits are always awesome and whoever does his hair and makeup definitely should've gotten some recognition because it is excellent. The music is mostly good. It all kind of sounds the same but not always in a particularly bad way. Johnny Depp incorporating anger in to his songs is thrilling, convincing, and emotional. My husband and I both sincerely enjoyed the supremely based song about baking some priests in to a pie and how excellent it will be for the rich to finally be supporting the poor for once. Finally, the ending tableau is beautiful. Though it was cliche and not unexpected, it still hit in all the right places.
All in all this was a pretty fun musical that appears to have aged fairly well, especially in light of recent economic woke attitudes this movie proudly displays. I just can't pass down a musical about a vengeful dude and his extremely thirsty landlord working together to bake the rich in to pies. At first you may think that we were reading in to this a little bit because of our obvious bias, but if you pay attention there is actually a crucial scene right in the midst of a murder spree where Sweeney shaves a dude and he leaves the chair unharmed and goes back to his family. Sweeney does not mean everyone should die when he sings "they all deserve to die", just the rich. 'Nuff said Sweeney. 'Nuff said.
The FarwellDirected by: Lulu Wang
10/10
This may contend with Thunder Road as my favourite film I've seen this year.
I was surprised by how "educational" this film was for me. I ended up leaving with a lot of new information and perspective on Chinese culture especially in regards to how grief, family, immigration, and duty play out. One thing I love about foreign films which address the immigrant experience is that I always get more from it than I expect. The issue of identity and pride for immigrants seems obvious at first but I am constantly blown away by how many other layers there are to it that I didn't even consider. At this point, I almost want to seek out films and memoirs which address this kind of complex betrayal and spirituality involved in leaving your home country and family for a perceived "better life". The thing is though, this is only maybe 10% of this film. The whole examination on immigration and how it shapes Billi's identity makes her narrative, emotion, and relationships to her extended family and culture more rich and interesting, but it is far from the focus of the film. This is also the case with the way her native Chinese language, practices, and beliefs become complicated by the respective American language, practices, and beliefs she has lived with and incorporated in to herself over the last couple decades.
After watching this film I did some research to see how common this kind of "lie" set up in the film really is and I was surprised to learn that it is a lot more common than even this story leads you to believe. Knowing this and seeing the emotional perspective of this cultural practice portrayed in the film gave me this huge "ah-ha" moment in my understanding of Chinese religions that I studied in college and I honestly couldn't stop thinking about this movie from that perspective for days afterwards.
Not only is this movie fascinating and emotional, but it is also often really funny and has a really beautiful aesthetic to it. The lighting and cinematography of this film was really excellent and unique and I found that it actually moved the emotion forward in a way I don't often see in character-driven films like this. I'm thinking about re-watching this movie in May if only just to feel that warmth, melancholy, and organic joy I felt while watching it. Finally, it would be criminal for me not to mention the performances. Nai Nai in particular is enigmatic, sweet, and beaming with affection. The script has many characters discussing controversial traditional Chinese sentiments and viewpoints that are effortlessly genuine while not being casually thrown in there just for the sake of setting stage. Having Nai Nai be as wholesome and loving as she is while also maintaining her traditional judgemental attitudes has the combined effect of humanising these views, exposing how they may be harmful, but refraining from any kind of judgement. This also keeps dialogue interesting even when the emphasis is on emotion or exposition.
So there are a billion reasons why this film had my attention and heart through the entire run time. I couldn't recommend this enough to anyone looking for a story with a big heart and lots to say about Chinese culture and the immigrant experience.
TedDirected by: Seth Mcfarlane
3/10
Yeah. I'm a little embarrassed of this one. Somehow more embarrassed than I've felt about reporting back from "Land of the Lost" and things like that, and that's because I half expected this to be a fun shit watch and I had fairly fond memories of it too! I distinctly remember seeing this in theatres with my high school friends the last summer I lived in Calgary and leaving thinking it was super funny. Well shit, I guess it turns out we were really fucking dumb, because this movie is really un-funny. 80% of the jokes are just un-creative and flat references and the other 20% is...ugh, I hate to have to say this, but just offensive. Yeah I guess I was triggered, but in my defence this movie genuinely hates women. I did not remember this AT ALL from seeing it 8 years ago, but again it turns out I wasn't as woke when I was 18 I guess. Also, I think I also hated women when I was 18. Go figure. Also, there are at least 5 fart jokes and they are...cringy at best. Even for fart jokes, they are bad. Like...Seth Mcfarlane level bad.
Ok, but lets live in an imaginary world where this movie did succeed at being funny. After all, there were 3 or 4 bits that did actually get laughs out of us (even some of the "offensive" humour). Lets live in that world for a moment. Even in that world, this movie couldn't be higher than a soft 6 and that is because the third act is abysmally long, slow, and unnecessary. I genuinely can't think of a more poorly done third act in any other film.
Finally, Mila Kunis's character saying that it doesn't hurt that her boyfriend (Mark Walberg) is the hottest guy in Boston is completely insane especially because Joel Mchale also lives in this Boston. Yeah...ok Mark Walberg. How much dick did you have to suck to get that line in the movie? Get outta here.
Directed by: Richard Stanley
8.5/10
This movie is as good as the poster makes it look and absolutely lived up to my hype. The first 15 minutes or so are a little rough because Stanley so clearly does not give a fuck about the set-up, but as soon as colors start to happen holy goddamned fuck strap in and start praying to your God, folks. For instance, there is a dinner scene early on that is hilariously terrible and my husband jokes that it was so bad and stole him away from his immersion so severely that he literally just began seeing the awful script roll up instead of what was actually happening on screen. It is so odd to even consider the first 15 minutes as part of this film because it seems like it comes from a completely different universe...and I guess it kind of does in a way. Reflecting on the film I almost had to remind myself that there was a set up, that this family and farm was actually there unfettered by Lovecraftian horror before everything happens. The movie is so insane and untethered from that reality, it's difficult to even conceptualise that it began as something so unassuming and even "cozy".
You can definitely see a lot of influence from "Mandy" and "Annihilation" in this film. A lot of times I found myself thinking of Annihilation, especially in the first half, and the sci-fi concepts are quite similar too. It's kind of like Annihilation except infinitely more horror, gore, and tripling down on the creature design and aesthetics. There is not one moment of this film after the half way mark that isn't a firehose to the face of Lovecraftian horror, and it was incredible. I feel like I left this experience with radioactive brain cancer and I still feel so honoured to have received it.
One odd thing about this movie...and I hesitate to even use the word "odd" because it's so much more jarring and challenging for me to sum up...is how Nic Cage fits in to all this. For a little while, you will genuinely feel tricked. You will be looking for Nic Cage because you know he stars in this and you wont see him at first. And then there he is, Nic Caging like a beastly dance through the cosmos unrestrained by any Earthly notions the character had before. For most of the film his performance is incredible and deeply unsettling. Watching him in this felt like watching a chemical burn on your own body. It was horrifying but also fascinating and colourful beyond anything I could describe here. But there are also moments where an entirely less nuanced Nic Cage makes an appearance and you see him screaming at his tomatoes.
You know, IMBD tells me that Richard Stanley's favourite Nic Cage film is "Vampires Kiss" and he specifically asked Nic Cage to channel that same energy in to his movie. This is one of those facts that I suppose I technically learned, and yet the moment I read the words I felt like I'd known it all along. Someone could show me evidence of this being a lie, and I would not believe them. I stake my entire understanding of the Universe, this movie, and Nic Cage on the fact that this is true. Also, apparently at some point both Nic Cage and Richard Stanley were on the hunt for the legitimate holy grail. That was just something both of these men had dedicated a bit of their lives to.
See. Tell me that fact doesn't sit with you in a place other facts don't get the privilege of being in.
MidsommarDirected by: Ari Aster
10/10
Rewatching this film confirms for me that both of Ari Aster's films are hard 10/10s, but I definately prefer this one. Comparing them doesn't even seem fair because while both definately expose the raw and horrific side of human suffering, pain, and ritual, they communicate this focus in completely different ways. Both films do this thing that I love intellectually and hate in a gutteral animal-fear kind of way, and that is how gasping and crying is captured. It is never dramatic or sad in the way other films showcase a grieving or traumatised person. Instead, these sounds are howling, grating, ugly, and the gasps are sharp and seem to be done with the entire body. I have experienced these kinds of gasps before, and Florence Pugh's performance of constant strain and wretched emotion really hit home for me, but this film has the unique experience of managing to translate these very brutal and unwelcome emotions to the viewer in a nauseating way I'll never forgive him for. I will never forgive Ari Aster for the scene where Christian the slug man is on a bad trip and that whole orgy sequence. I have never felt so disorientated in my whole life and just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.
Basically the whole film makes me feel ill and right on the brink of breaking down and running in fear, and it's not even that it is a "horror" movie exactly. This isn't a particularly deep cut, but I think the reason that everyone who sees this movie feels these things even if the movie isn't "scary" or even really gory, is because it evokes the trauma and stress of internal horror instead of providing a situational horror for us to react to.
The strangest thing too, and I say "strange" even though it is absolutely the point, is that I can't help but feel romantically inclined toward the Midsommar society even as the whole thing is making me feel like I'm going to break down at any moment. It isn't just the aesthetic and it isn't even just the obvious "fun" of some of the things like the dancing. Oddly enough I actually thought of Little Women on more than one occasion while watching this for the second time, even if my emotional reaction to those two movies couldn't be more polarised. Both movies drive home the importance of supporting each other and the pleasure of doing things together. When done together, even things like baking meat pies and sobbing on your bed can be therapeutic and healthy in ways modern society doesn't offer as readily. Pelle explaining to Dani that the reason these traditions live on has less to do with social pressure and more to do with the benefit of "feeling held" and having this communal space to feel grief and madness together is one of the more important moments in this film and its done beautifully.
Midsommar couldn't be a stronger 10/10. Its cliche and kind of lazy to sum up a great movie by saying "its more than a movie, its an experience" but its really true in the case of "Midsommar".
Video Games
Created by: Katsuya Eguchi
10/10
No one reading this wants me to write about this. What can I say that hasn't already been said? Everyone is tired of hearing about it. So I will keep it brief.
I don't know how this is possible, but this game exceeded it's astronomically unrealistic hype and expectations. I think there are a lot of reasons that this game not only succeeds as a milestone in the series, but as a completely unique and culturally important piece of art for 2020. It is uncanny how perfectly timed the release of this game was in the wake of COVID19 and for myself personally, in a month of overwhelming grief and stress. I owe so much to this franchise. When I played it as a child, it helped me get through a very challenging transition between legal guardians and as I play it as an adult it has helped me stay in a routine of calming mindfulness and forgiveness. If this game can be kind to me, so too can I be kind to myself. If I can take the time each morning to make slow but satisfying progress in a creative pursuit with no pressure whatsoever and zero repercussions for mistakes, I can also take the time for myself each day to grieve how I need to and come to peace for the things I cannot accomplish while living through a pandemic and the stress/grief accompanying my personal and professional life.
I think it is rare that a game which involves a kind of daily ritual is considered a "good thing" and not manipulative or costly. In ACNH there is no demand for you to do *anything*. You do not need to log on daily or check in at certain times. There is no penalty if you miss these things, only rewards whenever you do check in. Even the rewards are different than a lot of games which reward repeated log-ins. The reward isn't money or experience, but the opportunity to create closer bonds with villagers, to see more creative options available to you, to enhance your island and play experience. No matter what, ACNH meets you where you are and says "its great to see you. We love what you have done. Enjoy your day".
There is so much room for creative opportunity in this game. One thing I am particularly proud of is my Godzilla point complete with Mothra and a lighthouse, a memorial beach, and a room in my house dedicated to a desert Kermit the frog aesthetic. But even then, there are days or stretches of days at a time where I do nothing. I just casually fish, meet up with my friends on their islands and praise them for their work, try on hats, design sweaters, just sit on the beach and talk to my villagers about their "daily bidet routines". This game makes me smile and take a breather and I love that it follows my real time. If it is a gloomy day in the real world, it may be bright and sunny on my island. If I am too depressed to leave my bed on a Saturday morning, I may catch the beautiful break of dawn on my island and there may be a random visitor arriving hoping to sell me exotic goods, fraud paintings, or teach me about astronomy. The wind may be howling and threatening at night, but its silvery and calm on my island and my villagers want me to sing with them at their bonfire. It may be a Saturday night in quarantine, but KK Slider is on my island taking requests (K.K Steppe. Always).
I love this game.
Developed by: Red Hook Games
8.5/10
This game is kind of like a slot machine sometimes. I can't deny that at least 1/3rd of my experience in this game is me writhing in anger and futility as I go from being completely set up and ready to kick ass, to being completely fucked because of a dozen missed shots, bad virtue tests causing exponential stress across the party, and heart attcks and death blows until I've lost all faith in the game. I can't tell you how many times I levelled up a dude, gave him great trinkets, and released him in to the wild like a proud mother, only to have him slip in to a RNG pit and die. Its awful. BUT, and I can't stress this enough, I simply cannot stay mad at this game or the reliance on RNG. Once you go in with the mindset of working with and not against the RNG, the experience as a whole is always nothing short of thrilling and nail-bitingly intense. The highs are incredibly high and the lows are devastating. The risks are always there and you hold your breath after every decision made. A lot of games have critical hits but none feel as good as the critical hits done in this game. In some ways playing this actually kind of reminded me of playing D&D with my friends back in the day. There was always the risk of perma-death, critical hits were rare but very exciting, and critical misses always shocking and devastating. Risk-assessment is a really interesting dynamic in this game as well as in D&D when done right and even if it feels kind of like a gross addiction or abusive relationship, I keep on coming back for more and it's an exhilarating rush every time.
Also, I'd be crazy not to mention the narration in this game. It is awesome.
The TourystDeveloped by: Shin'en Multimedia
7/10
The main plot and "story mission" of the game is not particularly interesting or good. In fact, one dungeon was so irritating, I nearly quit the game entirely only about half-way through. However what stuck with me after finishing this game wasn't this, but the minigames. I love that The Touryst is a mini-game centric adventure game and hardly tries to be anything else. If the 4 dungeons could've been less puzzle/platform heavy (the controls are janky and the puzzles way too easy), this could have easily been a 9 or 10/10 game for me.
The retro sunny aesthetic of this game is great because it doesn't look like every other retro-inspired game but it still feels warm and nostalgic. There are a lot of charming little touches you find throughout your exploration and you can tell a lot of love and care was put in to this project. The mini-games are naturally the star of this experience and they never disappoint. Every little adventure from surfing, flying a drone, playing flash games in the arcade, soccer, and paddling a canoe are fun and satisfying and never so challenging or time consuming that they feel like a chore. The adventure aspects are spaced out well and offer just the right amount of running back and forth between the 6 adorable themed islands before it would get exhausting. My personal favourite mini game was mining for diamonds. It's impressive how tense and fun it was considering how low the stakes are and low little time it took to complete. Buying new records for the DJ on Ibiza was also neat. This was just a neat little game and I think part of it's appeal is that childlike glee you get from the mini-games that more often than not feel like the flash games of my childhood or those weird little video game consoles you'd get in cereal boxes, but with the flashy aesthetics of present times.
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