Books
Wuthering Heights
by Emily Bronte
8/10
This book will haunt me forever.
There are a lot of books that I would say will *stick* with me forever, but this isn't the same. The effect this will have on me and has had on me this month is unnervingly similar to the way Catherine haunts Heathcliff right up to the grave. Its not like I will think of it often or be reminded of it particularly often. These things are always the most potent right after you've read them. However, I know with confidence that images of the English/Scottish moors will always make me feel unsettled now.
I feel like I spent so much longer than 10 days in this surprisingly violent, unnerving, and viscerally confrontational novel. There were days I'd lay there in bed talking about this book nearly driven to madness by the uniquely frightening passion it evokes in it's characters and setting. I understand now why this novel is so important in understanding the Gothic genre in literature but at the same time I am happy to never revisit it again because I honestly do believe that the werewolf savaging my insides that "Wuthering Heights" woke up in me will not be laid to rest like Heathcliff is.
But thats the thing. Bronte ends her novel with many questions, not the least of which regarding whether these people do actually lie at peace or whether they have been destined to be endlessly crying out passionately in the wild untamed moors surrounding them. Just based on how I've been treated by this story, I'm inclined to believe that there can be no rest for these personalities. This is not simply a case of volatile psychology (though this is certainly an incredible aspect of the novel) and passionate love and revenge, but is instead something that people like the rest of us could never fully understand or come to terms with. Heathcliff and Catherine come from a different plane of existence that the rest of us can only observe and pay emotion to. There are a few excellent portholes Bronte gives us in to Heathcliff's state of mind and Catherine's arguable paranormal existence that absolutely blew me away and gave me shivers, one of which involves Heathcliff describing his attempts to pull through a depression like a stiff spring screaming in pain.
Now, hear me out on this one. Hear me out. This doesn't have vampires and all and doesn't explicitly have werewolves, but the gothic nature & architecture as well as the allusions to Heathcliff's suffering as a kind of werewolvism (I've determined this has to be a real word for I have no substitute) lend itself well in place of these elements. So...I'm just gonna say it. Wuthering Heights is what the Twilight series could've been if it wanted to really dig in to the horror of infatuation and attempt to understand the human psyche behind it. Wuthering Heights is "romantic" if you take isolated quotes out of it and put it on pretty notebooks, but I hardly felt wistful or any warmth when reading it like one would expect from a romance novel. Far from it- I often felt like I was there with them, screaming in the pooring rain, completely lost in the chaos of untamed emotion.
I just loved the dramatic tie between the characters and their natural and architectural environment. This, along with the poetic nature of the verse made it a stunningly vivid and emotional read. I know that one big criticism of this novel is that it "blew its load" too quickly as what is arguably the biggest climax happens around half-way through. I kind of agree with this. The first half is definitely more engaging and there's never a dull moment. Some of the middle parts do seem kind of directionless at times. However, I stand for the ending being an incredible display of dramatic symmetry at its best. I'll die on that hill. Tying up the bloodlines and the carnage of decades of raw and voracious revenge was the right thing to do and the final image may not live up to the heights (ha.) of the original conflicts, but it's still an incredibly powerful one which echos back to the parts everyone loves.
That's really what this book does well. It echos. It echos and it haunts and it hits like lightning in a windstorm. I'm kind of relieved to be finished with it, if only for a moments rest.
American Gods
by: Neil Gaiman
8/10
Conceptually, this book/series is super awesome but also takes a huge risk. If it wasn't done as well as it is, it would've been extremely stupid and corny. If the edginess wasn't balanced just right with visual splendour, fun characters, and genuine emotional depth, it wouldn't work at all for me. It took me a very long time to be attached to or engaged with Shadow at all. It was literally not until the last possible moment and even then, I can't say I felt anything for him, and he never feels real or fleshed out for me. This would be fine if he was fun or interesting like every other character, but he isn't. He is the blankest possible slate, and I think that's pretty fucking lame. Luckily, most of the rest of the book is so entertaining and consistently interesting that I can forgive this kind of thing. Sometimes it appears to believe it is a good deal more smart and politically challenging than it actually is, but the intoxicating quality of its colourful atmosphere and lofty ideas cannot be understated here.
Some of the best parts of this novel are the parts that breaks up the main storyline- the little portholes in to instances all throughout history in America where Gods were worshipped or took part. These range from scenes where the Gods are explicitly interacting with the public, like the Jinn taxi driver having sex with a down-on-his-luck immigrant, to the momentous and sweeping narratives of African Gods and their part in the liberation of slaves
Really, truly, this novel stops for no one. You do not get a moment to catch your breath. Even in the much appreciated more atmospheric and contemplative chapters which have Shadow waiting for Wednesday in a funeral parlour or in a charming suburban town in the winter, you are so caught up in the never-ending richness of Gaiman's landscape that you never feel like you're "taking a break" so to speak. This may well be one of my favourite novels that approaches the "adventure" genre without explicitly dedicating itself to that formula. At first, I was not a fan of Gaiman's prose. However, as I got deeper and deeper in to the novel I began to realise that it's just Shadow, his inner monologue, and his dialogue which I found uninteresting.
Often I'd find myself laughing in brief moments of disbelief at what was occurring. You'd think I'd have learned by now to trust that no sex scene, no animal encounter, no landmark is going to be unremarkable and ordinary. But I didn't. I never learned this. I never learned to surrender myself to the magical realism of this tale like Shadow does, and that should make Shadow interesting, but it doesn't because neither him nor anyone else has anything to say about this ability of his. Honestly, this could've been damn near a perfect novel in my eyes if Shadow were at all engaging as a protagonist and if there were less instances of Gaiman's pseudo-intellectual religious discourse that had my eyes rolling. That being said, this book has a flavour. There are not many books you feel like you can "taste", but this is one of them and part of that flavour does include Shadow and some pretty surface-level cultural analysis, so I can't say I'd want to experience this novel without it.
Side note: an American Gods themed roadtrip would be fucking awesome and I've added it to my bucket-list. I need to go to the House on the Rock. I need to.
Movies & TV
Alien vs Predator
Directed by: Paul W.S Anderson
5/10
I'm just going to copy and paste what I said to my friend immediately after finishing this movie. This and this alone seems like it should sum up not only the near unbelievable insanity of this film but also why I kind of...wierdly liked it? Like, I am not a fan of Predator at all but I am deeply entertained by his surfer-bro attitude and the hilarious existence and actions of Predator society.
I don't have much to say about the Alien bits. The aliens are cooler than Predators. This is obvious. I don't like that they are the victims here and are just fodder for Predator coming of age rituals...but whatever.
Honestly this film is just so divorced from the Alien series, who gives a fuck.
Anyways this is what I said:
"Are you telling me
The predator society in space
Has this coming of age bar-mitzvah tradition
Involving an ancient underground pyramid obstacle course
In Antarctica, a place with no people living there
Where they breed xenomorphs and sacrifice people there who appear to have their own wierd ritual practices involved with this (how???what people???People were not in Antarctica 100+ years ago???).
I CANT BELIEVE IM NOT MAKING THIS UP
The scope of this movie...the set-up involved. It's so unbelievably large
And can we talk about Jimmy the protagonist Predator?!
He is just some cool chill dude who bonds with a human woman and then introduces her to his dad (!?). And then the dad bestows upon her the family heirloom???
Some bro-ey Call of Duty Predators take part in a society with multiple underground pyramids across the universe doing this shit!?
AND THIS TAKES PLACE IN 2004
YEARS BEFORE THE FIRST ALIEN FILM???"
Promethius
Directed by: Ridley Scott
5/10
Dude. Up to 2/3rds through this film I was so excited to talk about it and be contrarian for loving it. I legitimately could not understand why people hate this thing so much and I broke the silence in watching this film to tell my husband this, to say "I love this. Yeah, I love this. Everything about this is great. Why do people hate this?!". He stayed silent. He did not answer me. He barely even glanced at me, probably because he knew he would give it away if he did.
Cruel, cruel man. Not preparing me for the crushing blow of disappointment in the third act.
It's honestly so sad. The sets are incredible, the movie looks and feels fantastic, the performances are great and even some of the script is really compelling. The ideas are ambitious and progress in an interesting way. But then, the third act happens.
I almost don't even want to write about it. I don't even want to acknowledge the third act. I want to live in the alternate universe mere inches from this one where Prometheus is great. I want to live in the world where they meet their makers and learn that they had had a hand on Earth this whole time, but they too were foolish and their plans got out of hand. I want to live in the world where these characters follow through on the psychological examination of these ideas and where Michael Fassbender isn't just suddenly cut out. I want to see the consequences of this android getting motivations, gaining insight, maybe getting killed because of this. What the fuck. I fucking...I can't believe you done this. I almost wish it had ended abruptly at the hour mark. It would've been sudden and upsetting to never get any resolution, but the infinite ways our minds can carry the set-up would be better than whatever the fuck the 3rd act was. I want to live in that universe where Prometheus was good even if it means sacrificing Pickle Rick or something. I don't care. Get me there.
In 2009 people supposedly suffered from "post-Avatar depression". I truly think that for about half an hour following Prometheus I was suffering from a "Post-Prometheus Despair". I was so engaged, so mystified, so blown away by the first half of this thing. It didn't even matter that Xenomorphs basically don't exist in this. I honestly didn't care because it was an interesting piece of sci-fi without it.
Prometheus was messy, it was somehow boring, and it was...just so disappointing. I left this film feeling like I'd come down with a flu. So exhausted and weak and empty inside where I once was lively. I can't fully believe how depressed I was with nothing making sense or being compelling. It was almost remarkable how far it fell. I'm just...I'm done. That's it. I'm done thinking about it now. Bye.
The Hunt
Directed by: Craig Zobel
3.5/10
This is not a film. This is an edgy word-salad of Social Justice Warrior buzzwords thrown together by some 14 year old Centrist who just discovered Reddit. Don't let the movie poster fool you. This movie is not shocking. It is not sick or disturbed. It's entertaining sometimes! It's gory sometimes! But it is far from genuinely politically fuelled or psychologically twisted. This movie is so genuinely confused about the points it is making, I found myself in a debate with my husband over whether this was written and made by old school Conservatives who only put self-aware racists and rednecks in this as to not appear to be *blatant* propaganda (though it totally is), or whether its just written by an idiot centrist.
See, 90% of the time buzzwords are used but the concept is taken no farther than "See! He said it! He said that he doesn't want to victim blame! But then he is doing it anyways! HA! Liberals are bad too! Liberals are just as bad as conservatives, except worse because they are actually killing people in this movie! HA! SUCH COMMENTARY".
Fuck off.
Ok but the one saving grace of this film is Glen Howerton. His opening scene on the private jet is great and I love him. His very existence in this movie speaks to it being possibly just a centrist misguided mess instead of blatant conservative propaganda.
It's weird to me that Trump had this pulled before it even got a release date. It's honestly...not very inflammatory towards his people. I'm inclined to believe his uproar about it is part of some publicity stunt so it would get more attention.
Barry (Seasons 1&2)
Directed by: Bill Hader
10/10
Many TV series feature a killer or criminal of sorts and work on examining whether they are a "good guy" or a "bad guy", whether they are "evil", and whether any of this is justifiable. Honestly, Barry is possibly the first one of these stories which really worked for me. Violence is never played for comedy and the actions which Barry chooses vs the ones which involve following orders are always significant and emotionally nuanced.
Barry takes place in LA and its refreshing to see this city portrayed in a way that doesn't romanticise it at all and any assertion that it is "cool" comes directly from people who are actively working to create this fabricated dramatic space. The defining characteristic of LA is that it has ample opportunity- both for Barry Berkman and Barry Block. These opportunities always come with a catch, though- most opportunities involve Barry being exploited, blackmailed, or put in a position where he must degrade himself. Even Barry's role models and friends are often opportunistic, selfish, and isolate Barry as the strange but useful "other" in their communities and goals.
All of this ties in to overarching themes of abusive relationships (professional, romantic, and psycho-social), PTSD and disassociation, and addressing the unspoken realities of relationships between men in the army which does not just boil down to simply toxic masculinity, but an irreplaceable and often essential supportive community. These themes are uncomfortable and not often tied in to comedy and the LA scene, so "Barry" doing this and doing it so well makes it really a remarkable series.
I love that characters in "Barry", not the least of which the protagonist himself, are not just presented to the audience with a question as to where they ping on the sympathetic/unsympathetic scale. Often, they are neither. Sometimes Barry responds to things with a detached and absurd reaction and its not that he is particularly relatable or not, he is just responding like people do sometimes. Sometimes, we aren't "all there", especially people who suffer from PTSD.
All of this doesn't even touch on the comedic aspects, which are naturally brilliant due to both Bill Hader's direction and comedic instincts, but also a range of remarkable performances. Noho Hank is likely one of my favourite comedic characters in the last 5 years. He is so uniquely strange, intrinsically hilarious, and delivers lines in ways which can not be replicated. I have tried to communicate with my husband why Noho Hank is so hilarious and strangely attractive to me, despite being an obviously gay and kind of unnervingly pale and bald member of an Eastern European gang. Pitching the idea of Noho Hank must have been so strange. He is...a gang member, but oddly polite and friendly and very invested in the holistic enjoyment of his community, with a grasp on western culture that is tenuous at best but he believes it to be profound...and also, he is kind of dysfunctionally stupid at times and passionate about engaging in celebratory cultural dance? He is such a strange combination of mannerisms, aesthetic, and character traits that shouldn't work but somehow do. I adore him. Other stand-out characters are Mr. Cousineau with his constant preformative sincerity, Tae-Kwondo rabbid dog demon girl, and of course Sally even when she is giving me annoying flashbacks to theatre troupes from my university years. Actually, the entire theatre class is perfectly comedic. They aren't used often but hit the mark every time.
So I love this show. I generally love dark comedies, but this is certainly one of the best. "Barry"manages to be raw and emotional, tense and unnerving, and uniquely hysterical. Season 1 is a phenomenal set-up, but season 2 is where it really shines in my opinion.
Xmen
Directed by: Bryan Singer
7.5/10
I fucking love Xmen. Some of the effects from this film haven't aged particularly good, and it has yet to really get its wheels moving, but I still love it. I have a deep and long-standing affection for Xmen and a nostalgic sentimentality for it too. But set aside all my bias, I still say this film is easily still better than most modern superhero movies today. It has energy, a unique look and style, and some wonderful casting and performances.
Themes of prejudice and "us versus them" mentalities in Xmen hold up really well considering the film franchise is now two decades old and I think it is done with a lot of nuance. The pacing is also done really well in this first film, both for the plot and character development of Logan.
Now, I have to talk about Magneto. Magneto may be my favourite comic book villain. He is certainly the most correct. Everything he says, his motivations, and even his logic behind wiping out the majority of the "all lives matter" movement are completely correct and its easy to identify with and sympathise for him. Whether its Ian McKellen or Michael Fassbender, Magneto fucking rules.
Watching his then controversial choice to shoot every cop in the scene with their own bullets was very satisfying in this time of June 2020.
It isn't a perfect movie, but I encourage everyone to rewatch it. It holds up well, and its fun to watch Frog-man somehow dab on every other superhero/mutant. He is weirdly the best fighter of all of them, and Cyclops has fucking laser vision. Also, Bobby the Ice Man is hands down the most early 2000s dude ever to exist. It is rumoured that the actor literally evaporated in to thin air in 2006, never to be seen again.
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Directed by: Wes Anderson
10/10
I'm hard pressed to think up a movie that is as boundlessly creative with its medium than this one. Every shot could be framed, the camera movement and dynamic energy is a thrill throughout and is never boring or forgettable. The artistic choices made in the claymation medium are really cool and inventive, not the least of which the way "fur" and light is incorporated.
Even set all this creative marvel aside, this thing is flawlessly charming. George Clooney brings incredible warmth, charisma, and humour to his character and honestly every other voice-acting performance is spot-on too. Wes Anderson certainly has his own style and schtick and if you aren't a fan of it, you probably wouldn't like the rest of his movies. However, I truly believe Fantastic Mr Fox is Wes Anderson at his very best, realised at the peak of his artistic vision. Even if you aren't generally fond of Wes's style and humour, I think you'd be hard pressed to make it through a scene of this movie without a smile. Every choice made in the directing seems to be forever chasing the idea to make every scene unique and memorable, while still having a consistent style. The colour scheme, too, is mesmerising and supernaturally cozy.
My favourite bits of this film include the grumpy arc of Fox's son and his conflicts with his cousin, the brilliant rat character, and all of the digging animations.
Watching this movie is like eating pancakes on a brisk autumn morning. I adore it, and it is perfect.
This is the End
Directed by: Seth Rogen/ Evan Goldberg
8/10
This is my favorite of Seth & Evan's movies by a large margin even if that one scene has aged really porely. I mentioned this movie on my review of "Funny People" because they both share this potentially uncanny comedic bit about featuring celebrities that are playing themselves. This is the End is how it can be done well, and I think there are a few critical choices in this film that stop it from being a kind of flat "reference humour" type movie.
Firstly, the joke is never just seeing the celebrity or mentioning their name. The joke is almost always on showing these celebrities at a critical point of believably and totally bizarre. The exception to this rule involves Michael Cera, of course. However, the comedy behind his appearance and role in this movie is because it is so over the top where all the others are played closer to reality. Seeing Michael Cera snort coke, smack Rhianna's ass, and later be impaled while freaking out over who stole his phone is hysterical and super unexpected! Every other character is the celebrity playing themselves with a twist of fabricated chaos and satire. Jonah Hill is pretentious, gets by behind a thin veneer of sensitivity and kindness, and cant deal with the fact that he hates Jay Baruchel no matter what he does. Later, Jonah Hill gets a demon exorcised from him. Danny Mcbride is a brash and unapologetic asshole, to the extent that he eventually becomes the leader of a cannibal cult with Channing Tatum as his sex dog on a leash. Jay Baruchel and Seth Rogen navigate the apocalypse while also coming to a critical point of honesty in their fading friendship. All of the characters can be summed up like this. There is legitimately well written drama, but the comedy and willingness to throw well-established personas in to chaos and comedic conflicts is always front and center.
Secondly, while this movie takes place in Hollywood it very deliberately takes place in a kind of "alternative" Hollywood going through an apocalyptic disaster. Having films just take place in Hollywood and about celebrities interacting with no interesting twist is not particularly engaging, and it's kind of alienating in a not fun way.
Lastly, the chemistry behind the celebrities is important. There are only a few instances in "Funny People" where the celebrity characters have pre-established relationships and conflicts that are built off of in tight and well written scenes. Most of the time, we are being introduced to celebrities in a way that once again just makes their existence the point, not their role in the scene, comedy, or drama unfolding. James Franco's house party is a fantastic set-up for the comedy this movie goes for and every moment of it is a riot. Unlike some of Seth's other films, it doesn't lean too heavily on weed and dick humour, and while I'm a sucker for his films pretty much no matter what, this is part of why I have no qualms saying this is one of his best.
However, this movie completely changed for me when I learned from a podcast with Jay Baruchel that him and Seth were going through that exact same conflict in their friendship when the movie was made, and the writing actually made him really uncomfortable because in the end they never did bury the hatchet in real life like they had in the film. They never reconciled with their differences and Jay Baruchel is still wildly uncomfortable in LA around bigger celebrities. Since learning this, the film has taken a more bittersweet note for me. Still lots of laughs though. Still a solid flick.
House
Directed by: Nobuhiku Obayashi
8.5/10
I knew that this film was a big deal in the Criterion collection, but I probably never would have gotten around to if my friend hadn't brought it to my house as the three of us made effort to enjoy this under the influence of marijuana. Its one of those films that seems like it happens to you, as opposed to you deciding to watch it.
So many strange elements come together in this film to make it an ethereal experience entirely untethered from reality. Unlike most films I would call "ethereal", it isn't particularly frightening or unnerving. Though on paper, it sounds like a horror film, it has a weird soap-opera type feel that keeps it from ever being frightening, but also gives it this uncanny vibe I can't quite put my finger on.
The effects used in this movie are really uniquely abstract and engaging and used with such variety that it almost feels like you're watching a new movie every 10 minutes. It is so entertaining and left me in constant awe, if not with the effects, lighting, and music, then with the boundless weird energy it is constantly exuding. Some characters exist for only a handful of minutes but they leave such an impression on you, you swear you'll never forget the brutish watermelon man.
This film was initially described to me as "almost a live action youtube poop" and this is a pretty apt description. There is definitely something very profound going on beneath this absurd hurricane of deadly jazz pianos and dancing skeletons. There is definitely something going on there that us mere mortals can only grope for in the psychedelic storm happening before us. I don't know if it was just the combined effect of the uniquely enchanting lighting and the music putting me in a near unescapable trance, but I left this film feeling unexpectedly emotionally moved though for the life of me I couldn't really touch on why.
I wont soon forget this experience. Even with a sober eye I am still in awe of the effect this film had over me. It was so joyful and beautiful despite involving the murder and consumption of 8 schoolgirls. Oh Japan. Never change!
Cracked Up
Directed by: Michelle Esrick
7/10
A lot of this documentary and particularly what is said about childhood trauma, trauma recovery, and mental illness, is phenomenal. However, the way it is filmed and some of its kind of awkward pacing did wear on me a bit by the end. Also, this is just a personal bias, but I am extremely uninterested in the stage play adaption of this story. This documentary was good, the book sounds incredible, but adapting it to a stage play seems like it would be just nutshell-ing the book in a much less interesting way than film or documentary can do. There are very few instances in which I feel like a stage adaption is interesting and a creative improvement to source material though, so this is definitely more bias than an actual critique of this documentary. While I am happy for Darrell to feel empowered through his stage play, the bits of this film about this stage play did not grab my interest and I found myself kind of just waiting for it to get back to psychology, biography, and everything else involved in this sensitive portrait on the lifelong effects of childhood trauma.
I knew next to nothing of Darrell Hammond going in to this. I enjoyed learning about him, completely divorced from the subject matter of the documentary, regarding his career and general talents. I was impressed with how fluidly this documentary blends general biographical info and talking heads with insight in to how childhood trauma and mental illness blends in with and contributes to every facet of Darrell's life. I'm sure its cliche to say it, but I was blown away by how brave this man is in coming forward with this story. Speaking just of his mental illness and addictions alone is a huge step towards ending the stigma surrounding these things, but to also be candid and vulnerable about his horrifying childhood trauma takes outstanding courage.
Trauma, addictions, and PTSD are things I am consistently fascinated about and something I love about these topics is that each story has something new to say and some new perspective to give us. No two stories are the same and no two recoveries are the same. The only binding force in all of these stories is the power of forgiving yourself, being kind to yourself, and accepting that sometimes the things we do believing that they are self destructive are really just survival. I found Darrell's perspective on yoga to be particularly enlightening. Many people heal through yoga, but Darrell is the first I've heard to explain it as being an empowering experience because he feels agency over his body in this activity, more than any other. Mindful and deliberate agency.
X2- Xmen United
Directed by: Bryan Singer
9/10
GodDAMN I love this movie.
I think there are a number of elements that really made this a step up from the first one. First of all, there appears to be a lot more emphasis on thematic elements and overarching tensions in the universe as the need for set-up is already completed by the first movie. Having all of the mutants come together against a common foe and the dialogue around it is a lot more interesting than the more simple "good guys vs Magneto" thing. I love the idea that mutants cannot be divided now, in this time of war. At this point theyre all fighting for the same cause, only with different tactics, and they have to go at it together or everyone loses. The time for peace is over, and Rogue is a bootlicking piece of shit. When fireman starts torching the cops, which were called by a young 10 year old boy Karen and were clearly going to use force on an obviously unthreatening situation, me and my friends were howling with delight over the radical based-ness of the scene. Fuck Anna Paquin always, but especially when she is stopping based fireman from torching the cops.
Rogue was also really improved on in this movie. I love the inclusion of her struggle with Bobby/Iceman and I feel it sets up nicely her decision to remove her mutation in the next film. Its hard to be in a relationships that challenges or makes impossible traditional intimacy. I felt that the depiction of this couple's struggle to be intimate with each other was tender and nuanced. I have a bias there, but I don't think it can be denied that this improved both of the characters. Sure, theyre on the wrong side and its kind of weird that Logan immediately asks them how they are having sex, but I dig it still. I really dig it.
Oh man. There are just so many iconic scenes in this one. Presidential assasination. Magneto in his dope plastic prison and his awesome escape. Nightcrawler in the old church. Iceman cooling Logans drink by blowing on it. Naked Logan flashback. Yes. So good. Nightcrawler is the fucking best though. He is inarguably the coolest Xmen of the original trilogy. I believe he also has the best dialogue by a fairly good margin. His discussions on faith, whether peaceful protest and faith has any position in times of war and revolution, and his interesting backstory, are all super engaging. Basically every time he is talking with Storm includes dialogue that is a huge step-up from the first film. In a completely different way, I really appreciate Magneto and Mystique's dialogue as well. I love that we get a glimpse at their close and gossipy relationship. I think it's a great bit of intruige that makes you wonder how long they've been in this together, and why their views compliment each other so well. Mystique and Magneto are once again completely correct- they shouldn't have to have "passing privilege", fuck the cops, and the real enemy isn't in the mutant community but with the lawmen and status-quo which oppresses them.
Finally, this is just a little thing but it matters to me: I love that Scott/Cyclops isn't made out to be a shitty boyfriend or anything just to make Logan and Jean Grey more sympathetic. No, he is actually a great guy and that makes this whole scenario so much more interesting and realistic to me- Jean Grey doesn't "deserve" Logan or anything, and we aren't really rooting for any particular side. Well, at least I'm not. I dunno, I have a soft spot for Scott. He is a good dude k?!
Deathrace 2000
Directed by: Paul Bartel
7.5/10
Folks, get out there and watch this. Spectacular nudity, nazis get blown the fuck up, big ANTIFA mood, Sylvester Stalone with maximum gooberism, legitimately dope car and set design, and the hilarious "annual euthanasia day" where elderly are left on the roads to be run over for points in the Deathrace.
For real, it doesn't get better than this. Though some bits are corny and one car falls for a fucking bugs bunny roadrunner type trap (this is hilarious though, not at all a point against the quality of this film) all in all its actually shockingly good and holds up some 40 odd years later politically. Not only is it outrageously fun and genuinely hilarious but it's also a lot more intelligent than it looks, because it looks pretty fucking stupid.
Nah. I love this alternative future where Nascar is cross country and you get extra points running over people, but only the working class. Running over a religious person or important person is tabboo and bad.
The ANTIFA resistance movement in this film goes by the slogan "the age of obedience is over". Its awesome. The Hunger Games totally ripped this off but at the same time you can't really fault the author for that because while the Hunger Games focuses more on the revolution, Deathrace 2000 wraps itself up super quickly and its almost an afterthought to the fun action. Its a whole thing.
I will be laughing for the rest of my life at the image of Sylvester Stalone with oyster sauce all over his face, doing his Stalone thing, and later groping some censored boobs (heck you Tubi!).
Mad Max: Fury Road
Directed by: George Miller
10/10
"Fury Road" is cinematic art at its most breathtaking, at the absolute peak of turbo-powered insanity, stylistic and imaginative while still achieving a remarkable sense of grounded-ness and believable reality. As far as I'm concerned, this can easily be seen as a stand-alone film. I have not seen the other Mad Max movies and I don't care to. I know that they don't achieve one tenth the astounding color, energy, world building, or emotional tension that "Fury Road" does. I can't imagine anyone other than Tom Hardy with his weirdly subdued cocaine energy playing Mad Max. I don't care to watch a Mad Max film that doesn't have the same orchestraic emotion drumming along fiercely, as if part of the soundtrack itself.
Honestly, even set aside all of the mind-blowing technical aspects of this film and the spectacularly effective minimalist script & performances, this film could only ever be a solid 10/10 due to its level of intensity and gripping action alone. The stunts in this film and the variety of action elements- from the polecats, to the awesome decked out vehicles, to the post-apocalyptic and yet not at all uninteresting and totally unique desert aesthetic and character/world design- they all fit together in such a fascinating and consistently engaging way! Nothing will ever top my theatre experience when I saw this for the first time. I don't think I breathed comfortably once in 2 hours, but it was not out of fear, just pure adrenaline. Though this world is threatening, violent, and brutal- I find myself wishing I could be in it longer than the movie allows.I want to feel this sand that is so fluid and vibrant, be in these vehicles as bad-ass Guitarman shreds for eternity on the road to Valhalla, be torn apart in that fucking storm scene.
Ugh. It's just pure euphoria.
It is also fantastic feminist media. Aesthetically it seems like the last thing that would preach nurturing, female empowerment, a dissection on the societal power and spiritual value of women and childbirth, and a feminist-inspired political revolution. And yet, here we are. Mad Max may be one of my favourite pieces of feminist media. Yeah. That's odd, but it's true. I'll stand by it! Furiousa weeping for her lost Eden, destroyed by masculine greed and violence, is an icon of feminism.
Xmen 3: Last Stand
Directed by: Brett Ratner
7/10
Video Games
Sparklite
Developed by: Red Blue Games
N/A
I didn't finish this game. I probably played about 20% of it. Honestly, it's just a way less interesting Moonlighter. A lot of aspects of this game are nearly identical to Moonlighter, but with none of the satisfying game loop or learning curve. In general, Sparklite is too easy but it is also criminally slow. I lost to the easiest boss fight several times just because I was impatient and couldn't believe I could only kill it in the slowest least interesting way possible.
I think this game probably has potential and I may have grown to enjoy it, but I couldn't be bothered about 20 minutes of gameplay after the first boss, so I gave up.
Cave Story
Created by: Daisuke Amaya
N/A
I also didn't finish this one. I'm a bad gamer for quitting Cave Story.
The thing is, I'm leaving this understanding why this game is important to the history of indie games. I understand it's influenced, I watched a couple video essays, and I had fun for a little bit but eventually the backtracking and really simple combat made me a little bored. The character dialogue and overall story didn't strike me as particularly interesting either.
But I want to make it clear I'm not shitting on Cave Story. Not only do I understand its historical importance and influence, but I like how cohesively weird the environment and tone of this game is. I never felt particularly "sucked in" or addicted to this and even though I only played about half of it, a couple hours maybe, it did feel a bit like a slog.
The one thing I loved about Cave Story and will carry with me is its soundtrack. Both the original and remastered soundtracks were incredible and super catchy. Long after I'd deleted the game and stopped caring about it, the soundtrack would creep its way in to my morning walks. It is so funky and loud and 8-bit-y but not at all unpolished or anything. I love it and may even download it on Spotify. The soundtrack is a solid 8/10 on its own!
Clubhouse Games
Created by: Nintendo
8.5/10
I had the original Clubhouse Games on my Nintendo DS way back in the day. It was one of my favorite games and I played countless hours of President on it while on the bus to school every morning. I honestly think this particular DS game may have been the catalyst to my acquiring the love for card and board games. Though I could never play them with real people, learning the various strategies behind classic games was really engaging for me then and it is equally satisfying for me now. There are a few key differences between the DS version and this one- the Switch version is missing a couple classic card games (such as Hearts, Rummy, Doubt, Spades, and multiple versions of poker), has the inclusion of more world-wide games, and allows for online and couch co-op. I was honestly pretty bummed to see how many card games had been cut out in place of a couple silly toy games, but at the same time I think expanding their library and focus on to international games is interesting and a natural development in the series. The couch co-op is fine for two people, but the 3 & 4 player options and the bizarre distinction between the free guest pass available only for local play vs having it available for online play with friends is really baffling and frustrating.
There is no reason why Nintendo shouldn't have really focused on making this game more co-op friendly. The appeal of this game screams for more co-op potential! Everyone knows games are more fun with others and while playing online with strangers is pretty cool, there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to enjoy backgammon with my friends in Calgary through the guest pass when for some reason its only offered for local play. Also, even in couch co-op and local play, the 3 and 4 player games available are laughably scarce. There are only three games that can be played with 4 players, despite over half of them being turn-based and could easily be adapted for this. For instance, bowling and darts. Bowling should hypothetically be able to accommodate infinite players, but the game insists only two players can do it.
Despite the poorly thought out online and co-op capabilities, this game is still a blast to play even just on single player! The inclusion of more international games has increased my knowledge of many Japanese strategy games and honestly Mancala alone is almost worth the price of admission. My husband and I frequently play Mancala together and its interesting to see how much strategy is involved the more you play it. Another thing to note about the Switch's version of this game is that the aesthetic, game play, and soundtrack are incredibly smooth. Everything looks and plays incredibly good and it's a wonderfully relaxing experience to sit down and play through a handful of your favourites. The collection of stats, medals, trophies, and other various rewards (the huge collection of skins and soundtrack options from the DS game are sorely missed though) make it easy to go back to time and time again. Also, I honestly just love playing Yahtzee online. There is something emotionally compelling about feeling another's frustration through the screen as they fail over and over to roll that large straight. Something kind of evil and delicious.
Wuthering Heights
by Emily Bronte
8/10
This book will haunt me forever.
There are a lot of books that I would say will *stick* with me forever, but this isn't the same. The effect this will have on me and has had on me this month is unnervingly similar to the way Catherine haunts Heathcliff right up to the grave. Its not like I will think of it often or be reminded of it particularly often. These things are always the most potent right after you've read them. However, I know with confidence that images of the English/Scottish moors will always make me feel unsettled now.
I feel like I spent so much longer than 10 days in this surprisingly violent, unnerving, and viscerally confrontational novel. There were days I'd lay there in bed talking about this book nearly driven to madness by the uniquely frightening passion it evokes in it's characters and setting. I understand now why this novel is so important in understanding the Gothic genre in literature but at the same time I am happy to never revisit it again because I honestly do believe that the werewolf savaging my insides that "Wuthering Heights" woke up in me will not be laid to rest like Heathcliff is.
But thats the thing. Bronte ends her novel with many questions, not the least of which regarding whether these people do actually lie at peace or whether they have been destined to be endlessly crying out passionately in the wild untamed moors surrounding them. Just based on how I've been treated by this story, I'm inclined to believe that there can be no rest for these personalities. This is not simply a case of volatile psychology (though this is certainly an incredible aspect of the novel) and passionate love and revenge, but is instead something that people like the rest of us could never fully understand or come to terms with. Heathcliff and Catherine come from a different plane of existence that the rest of us can only observe and pay emotion to. There are a few excellent portholes Bronte gives us in to Heathcliff's state of mind and Catherine's arguable paranormal existence that absolutely blew me away and gave me shivers, one of which involves Heathcliff describing his attempts to pull through a depression like a stiff spring screaming in pain.
Now, hear me out on this one. Hear me out. This doesn't have vampires and all and doesn't explicitly have werewolves, but the gothic nature & architecture as well as the allusions to Heathcliff's suffering as a kind of werewolvism (I've determined this has to be a real word for I have no substitute) lend itself well in place of these elements. So...I'm just gonna say it. Wuthering Heights is what the Twilight series could've been if it wanted to really dig in to the horror of infatuation and attempt to understand the human psyche behind it. Wuthering Heights is "romantic" if you take isolated quotes out of it and put it on pretty notebooks, but I hardly felt wistful or any warmth when reading it like one would expect from a romance novel. Far from it- I often felt like I was there with them, screaming in the pooring rain, completely lost in the chaos of untamed emotion.
I just loved the dramatic tie between the characters and their natural and architectural environment. This, along with the poetic nature of the verse made it a stunningly vivid and emotional read. I know that one big criticism of this novel is that it "blew its load" too quickly as what is arguably the biggest climax happens around half-way through. I kind of agree with this. The first half is definitely more engaging and there's never a dull moment. Some of the middle parts do seem kind of directionless at times. However, I stand for the ending being an incredible display of dramatic symmetry at its best. I'll die on that hill. Tying up the bloodlines and the carnage of decades of raw and voracious revenge was the right thing to do and the final image may not live up to the heights (ha.) of the original conflicts, but it's still an incredibly powerful one which echos back to the parts everyone loves.
That's really what this book does well. It echos. It echos and it haunts and it hits like lightning in a windstorm. I'm kind of relieved to be finished with it, if only for a moments rest.
American Godsby: Neil Gaiman
8/10
Conceptually, this book/series is super awesome but also takes a huge risk. If it wasn't done as well as it is, it would've been extremely stupid and corny. If the edginess wasn't balanced just right with visual splendour, fun characters, and genuine emotional depth, it wouldn't work at all for me. It took me a very long time to be attached to or engaged with Shadow at all. It was literally not until the last possible moment and even then, I can't say I felt anything for him, and he never feels real or fleshed out for me. This would be fine if he was fun or interesting like every other character, but he isn't. He is the blankest possible slate, and I think that's pretty fucking lame. Luckily, most of the rest of the book is so entertaining and consistently interesting that I can forgive this kind of thing. Sometimes it appears to believe it is a good deal more smart and politically challenging than it actually is, but the intoxicating quality of its colourful atmosphere and lofty ideas cannot be understated here.
Some of the best parts of this novel are the parts that breaks up the main storyline- the little portholes in to instances all throughout history in America where Gods were worshipped or took part. These range from scenes where the Gods are explicitly interacting with the public, like the Jinn taxi driver having sex with a down-on-his-luck immigrant, to the momentous and sweeping narratives of African Gods and their part in the liberation of slaves
Really, truly, this novel stops for no one. You do not get a moment to catch your breath. Even in the much appreciated more atmospheric and contemplative chapters which have Shadow waiting for Wednesday in a funeral parlour or in a charming suburban town in the winter, you are so caught up in the never-ending richness of Gaiman's landscape that you never feel like you're "taking a break" so to speak. This may well be one of my favourite novels that approaches the "adventure" genre without explicitly dedicating itself to that formula. At first, I was not a fan of Gaiman's prose. However, as I got deeper and deeper in to the novel I began to realise that it's just Shadow, his inner monologue, and his dialogue which I found uninteresting.
Often I'd find myself laughing in brief moments of disbelief at what was occurring. You'd think I'd have learned by now to trust that no sex scene, no animal encounter, no landmark is going to be unremarkable and ordinary. But I didn't. I never learned this. I never learned to surrender myself to the magical realism of this tale like Shadow does, and that should make Shadow interesting, but it doesn't because neither him nor anyone else has anything to say about this ability of his. Honestly, this could've been damn near a perfect novel in my eyes if Shadow were at all engaging as a protagonist and if there were less instances of Gaiman's pseudo-intellectual religious discourse that had my eyes rolling. That being said, this book has a flavour. There are not many books you feel like you can "taste", but this is one of them and part of that flavour does include Shadow and some pretty surface-level cultural analysis, so I can't say I'd want to experience this novel without it.
Side note: an American Gods themed roadtrip would be fucking awesome and I've added it to my bucket-list. I need to go to the House on the Rock. I need to.
Movies & TV
Alien vs PredatorDirected by: Paul W.S Anderson
5/10
I'm just going to copy and paste what I said to my friend immediately after finishing this movie. This and this alone seems like it should sum up not only the near unbelievable insanity of this film but also why I kind of...wierdly liked it? Like, I am not a fan of Predator at all but I am deeply entertained by his surfer-bro attitude and the hilarious existence and actions of Predator society.
I don't have much to say about the Alien bits. The aliens are cooler than Predators. This is obvious. I don't like that they are the victims here and are just fodder for Predator coming of age rituals...but whatever.
Honestly this film is just so divorced from the Alien series, who gives a fuck.
Anyways this is what I said:
"Are you telling me
The predator society in space
Has this coming of age bar-mitzvah tradition
Involving an ancient underground pyramid obstacle course
In Antarctica, a place with no people living there
Where they breed xenomorphs and sacrifice people there who appear to have their own wierd ritual practices involved with this (how???what people???People were not in Antarctica 100+ years ago???).
I CANT BELIEVE IM NOT MAKING THIS UP
The scope of this movie...the set-up involved. It's so unbelievably large
And can we talk about Jimmy the protagonist Predator?!
He is just some cool chill dude who bonds with a human woman and then introduces her to his dad (!?). And then the dad bestows upon her the family heirloom???
Some bro-ey Call of Duty Predators take part in a society with multiple underground pyramids across the universe doing this shit!?
AND THIS TAKES PLACE IN 2004
YEARS BEFORE THE FIRST ALIEN FILM???"
PromethiusDirected by: Ridley Scott
5/10
Dude. Up to 2/3rds through this film I was so excited to talk about it and be contrarian for loving it. I legitimately could not understand why people hate this thing so much and I broke the silence in watching this film to tell my husband this, to say "I love this. Yeah, I love this. Everything about this is great. Why do people hate this?!". He stayed silent. He did not answer me. He barely even glanced at me, probably because he knew he would give it away if he did.
Cruel, cruel man. Not preparing me for the crushing blow of disappointment in the third act.
It's honestly so sad. The sets are incredible, the movie looks and feels fantastic, the performances are great and even some of the script is really compelling. The ideas are ambitious and progress in an interesting way. But then, the third act happens.
I almost don't even want to write about it. I don't even want to acknowledge the third act. I want to live in the alternate universe mere inches from this one where Prometheus is great. I want to live in the world where they meet their makers and learn that they had had a hand on Earth this whole time, but they too were foolish and their plans got out of hand. I want to live in the world where these characters follow through on the psychological examination of these ideas and where Michael Fassbender isn't just suddenly cut out. I want to see the consequences of this android getting motivations, gaining insight, maybe getting killed because of this. What the fuck. I fucking...I can't believe you done this. I almost wish it had ended abruptly at the hour mark. It would've been sudden and upsetting to never get any resolution, but the infinite ways our minds can carry the set-up would be better than whatever the fuck the 3rd act was. I want to live in that universe where Prometheus was good even if it means sacrificing Pickle Rick or something. I don't care. Get me there.
In 2009 people supposedly suffered from "post-Avatar depression". I truly think that for about half an hour following Prometheus I was suffering from a "Post-Prometheus Despair". I was so engaged, so mystified, so blown away by the first half of this thing. It didn't even matter that Xenomorphs basically don't exist in this. I honestly didn't care because it was an interesting piece of sci-fi without it.
Prometheus was messy, it was somehow boring, and it was...just so disappointing. I left this film feeling like I'd come down with a flu. So exhausted and weak and empty inside where I once was lively. I can't fully believe how depressed I was with nothing making sense or being compelling. It was almost remarkable how far it fell. I'm just...I'm done. That's it. I'm done thinking about it now. Bye.
The Hunt
Directed by: Craig Zobel
3.5/10
This is not a film. This is an edgy word-salad of Social Justice Warrior buzzwords thrown together by some 14 year old Centrist who just discovered Reddit. Don't let the movie poster fool you. This movie is not shocking. It is not sick or disturbed. It's entertaining sometimes! It's gory sometimes! But it is far from genuinely politically fuelled or psychologically twisted. This movie is so genuinely confused about the points it is making, I found myself in a debate with my husband over whether this was written and made by old school Conservatives who only put self-aware racists and rednecks in this as to not appear to be *blatant* propaganda (though it totally is), or whether its just written by an idiot centrist.
See, 90% of the time buzzwords are used but the concept is taken no farther than "See! He said it! He said that he doesn't want to victim blame! But then he is doing it anyways! HA! Liberals are bad too! Liberals are just as bad as conservatives, except worse because they are actually killing people in this movie! HA! SUCH COMMENTARY".
Fuck off.
Ok but the one saving grace of this film is Glen Howerton. His opening scene on the private jet is great and I love him. His very existence in this movie speaks to it being possibly just a centrist misguided mess instead of blatant conservative propaganda.
It's weird to me that Trump had this pulled before it even got a release date. It's honestly...not very inflammatory towards his people. I'm inclined to believe his uproar about it is part of some publicity stunt so it would get more attention.
Directed by: Bill Hader
10/10
Many TV series feature a killer or criminal of sorts and work on examining whether they are a "good guy" or a "bad guy", whether they are "evil", and whether any of this is justifiable. Honestly, Barry is possibly the first one of these stories which really worked for me. Violence is never played for comedy and the actions which Barry chooses vs the ones which involve following orders are always significant and emotionally nuanced.
Barry takes place in LA and its refreshing to see this city portrayed in a way that doesn't romanticise it at all and any assertion that it is "cool" comes directly from people who are actively working to create this fabricated dramatic space. The defining characteristic of LA is that it has ample opportunity- both for Barry Berkman and Barry Block. These opportunities always come with a catch, though- most opportunities involve Barry being exploited, blackmailed, or put in a position where he must degrade himself. Even Barry's role models and friends are often opportunistic, selfish, and isolate Barry as the strange but useful "other" in their communities and goals.
All of this ties in to overarching themes of abusive relationships (professional, romantic, and psycho-social), PTSD and disassociation, and addressing the unspoken realities of relationships between men in the army which does not just boil down to simply toxic masculinity, but an irreplaceable and often essential supportive community. These themes are uncomfortable and not often tied in to comedy and the LA scene, so "Barry" doing this and doing it so well makes it really a remarkable series.
I love that characters in "Barry", not the least of which the protagonist himself, are not just presented to the audience with a question as to where they ping on the sympathetic/unsympathetic scale. Often, they are neither. Sometimes Barry responds to things with a detached and absurd reaction and its not that he is particularly relatable or not, he is just responding like people do sometimes. Sometimes, we aren't "all there", especially people who suffer from PTSD.
All of this doesn't even touch on the comedic aspects, which are naturally brilliant due to both Bill Hader's direction and comedic instincts, but also a range of remarkable performances. Noho Hank is likely one of my favourite comedic characters in the last 5 years. He is so uniquely strange, intrinsically hilarious, and delivers lines in ways which can not be replicated. I have tried to communicate with my husband why Noho Hank is so hilarious and strangely attractive to me, despite being an obviously gay and kind of unnervingly pale and bald member of an Eastern European gang. Pitching the idea of Noho Hank must have been so strange. He is...a gang member, but oddly polite and friendly and very invested in the holistic enjoyment of his community, with a grasp on western culture that is tenuous at best but he believes it to be profound...and also, he is kind of dysfunctionally stupid at times and passionate about engaging in celebratory cultural dance? He is such a strange combination of mannerisms, aesthetic, and character traits that shouldn't work but somehow do. I adore him. Other stand-out characters are Mr. Cousineau with his constant preformative sincerity, Tae-Kwondo rabbid dog demon girl, and of course Sally even when she is giving me annoying flashbacks to theatre troupes from my university years. Actually, the entire theatre class is perfectly comedic. They aren't used often but hit the mark every time.
So I love this show. I generally love dark comedies, but this is certainly one of the best. "Barry"manages to be raw and emotional, tense and unnerving, and uniquely hysterical. Season 1 is a phenomenal set-up, but season 2 is where it really shines in my opinion.
XmenDirected by: Bryan Singer
7.5/10
I fucking love Xmen. Some of the effects from this film haven't aged particularly good, and it has yet to really get its wheels moving, but I still love it. I have a deep and long-standing affection for Xmen and a nostalgic sentimentality for it too. But set aside all my bias, I still say this film is easily still better than most modern superhero movies today. It has energy, a unique look and style, and some wonderful casting and performances.
Themes of prejudice and "us versus them" mentalities in Xmen hold up really well considering the film franchise is now two decades old and I think it is done with a lot of nuance. The pacing is also done really well in this first film, both for the plot and character development of Logan.
Now, I have to talk about Magneto. Magneto may be my favourite comic book villain. He is certainly the most correct. Everything he says, his motivations, and even his logic behind wiping out the majority of the "all lives matter" movement are completely correct and its easy to identify with and sympathise for him. Whether its Ian McKellen or Michael Fassbender, Magneto fucking rules.
Watching his then controversial choice to shoot every cop in the scene with their own bullets was very satisfying in this time of June 2020.
It isn't a perfect movie, but I encourage everyone to rewatch it. It holds up well, and its fun to watch Frog-man somehow dab on every other superhero/mutant. He is weirdly the best fighter of all of them, and Cyclops has fucking laser vision. Also, Bobby the Ice Man is hands down the most early 2000s dude ever to exist. It is rumoured that the actor literally evaporated in to thin air in 2006, never to be seen again.
Directed by: Wes Anderson
10/10
I'm hard pressed to think up a movie that is as boundlessly creative with its medium than this one. Every shot could be framed, the camera movement and dynamic energy is a thrill throughout and is never boring or forgettable. The artistic choices made in the claymation medium are really cool and inventive, not the least of which the way "fur" and light is incorporated.
Even set all this creative marvel aside, this thing is flawlessly charming. George Clooney brings incredible warmth, charisma, and humour to his character and honestly every other voice-acting performance is spot-on too. Wes Anderson certainly has his own style and schtick and if you aren't a fan of it, you probably wouldn't like the rest of his movies. However, I truly believe Fantastic Mr Fox is Wes Anderson at his very best, realised at the peak of his artistic vision. Even if you aren't generally fond of Wes's style and humour, I think you'd be hard pressed to make it through a scene of this movie without a smile. Every choice made in the directing seems to be forever chasing the idea to make every scene unique and memorable, while still having a consistent style. The colour scheme, too, is mesmerising and supernaturally cozy.
My favourite bits of this film include the grumpy arc of Fox's son and his conflicts with his cousin, the brilliant rat character, and all of the digging animations.
Watching this movie is like eating pancakes on a brisk autumn morning. I adore it, and it is perfect.
This is the EndDirected by: Seth Rogen/ Evan Goldberg
8/10
This is my favorite of Seth & Evan's movies by a large margin even if that one scene has aged really porely. I mentioned this movie on my review of "Funny People" because they both share this potentially uncanny comedic bit about featuring celebrities that are playing themselves. This is the End is how it can be done well, and I think there are a few critical choices in this film that stop it from being a kind of flat "reference humour" type movie.
Firstly, the joke is never just seeing the celebrity or mentioning their name. The joke is almost always on showing these celebrities at a critical point of believably and totally bizarre. The exception to this rule involves Michael Cera, of course. However, the comedy behind his appearance and role in this movie is because it is so over the top where all the others are played closer to reality. Seeing Michael Cera snort coke, smack Rhianna's ass, and later be impaled while freaking out over who stole his phone is hysterical and super unexpected! Every other character is the celebrity playing themselves with a twist of fabricated chaos and satire. Jonah Hill is pretentious, gets by behind a thin veneer of sensitivity and kindness, and cant deal with the fact that he hates Jay Baruchel no matter what he does. Later, Jonah Hill gets a demon exorcised from him. Danny Mcbride is a brash and unapologetic asshole, to the extent that he eventually becomes the leader of a cannibal cult with Channing Tatum as his sex dog on a leash. Jay Baruchel and Seth Rogen navigate the apocalypse while also coming to a critical point of honesty in their fading friendship. All of the characters can be summed up like this. There is legitimately well written drama, but the comedy and willingness to throw well-established personas in to chaos and comedic conflicts is always front and center.
Secondly, while this movie takes place in Hollywood it very deliberately takes place in a kind of "alternative" Hollywood going through an apocalyptic disaster. Having films just take place in Hollywood and about celebrities interacting with no interesting twist is not particularly engaging, and it's kind of alienating in a not fun way.
Lastly, the chemistry behind the celebrities is important. There are only a few instances in "Funny People" where the celebrity characters have pre-established relationships and conflicts that are built off of in tight and well written scenes. Most of the time, we are being introduced to celebrities in a way that once again just makes their existence the point, not their role in the scene, comedy, or drama unfolding. James Franco's house party is a fantastic set-up for the comedy this movie goes for and every moment of it is a riot. Unlike some of Seth's other films, it doesn't lean too heavily on weed and dick humour, and while I'm a sucker for his films pretty much no matter what, this is part of why I have no qualms saying this is one of his best.
However, this movie completely changed for me when I learned from a podcast with Jay Baruchel that him and Seth were going through that exact same conflict in their friendship when the movie was made, and the writing actually made him really uncomfortable because in the end they never did bury the hatchet in real life like they had in the film. They never reconciled with their differences and Jay Baruchel is still wildly uncomfortable in LA around bigger celebrities. Since learning this, the film has taken a more bittersweet note for me. Still lots of laughs though. Still a solid flick.
HouseDirected by: Nobuhiku Obayashi
8.5/10
I knew that this film was a big deal in the Criterion collection, but I probably never would have gotten around to if my friend hadn't brought it to my house as the three of us made effort to enjoy this under the influence of marijuana. Its one of those films that seems like it happens to you, as opposed to you deciding to watch it.
So many strange elements come together in this film to make it an ethereal experience entirely untethered from reality. Unlike most films I would call "ethereal", it isn't particularly frightening or unnerving. Though on paper, it sounds like a horror film, it has a weird soap-opera type feel that keeps it from ever being frightening, but also gives it this uncanny vibe I can't quite put my finger on.
The effects used in this movie are really uniquely abstract and engaging and used with such variety that it almost feels like you're watching a new movie every 10 minutes. It is so entertaining and left me in constant awe, if not with the effects, lighting, and music, then with the boundless weird energy it is constantly exuding. Some characters exist for only a handful of minutes but they leave such an impression on you, you swear you'll never forget the brutish watermelon man.
This film was initially described to me as "almost a live action youtube poop" and this is a pretty apt description. There is definitely something very profound going on beneath this absurd hurricane of deadly jazz pianos and dancing skeletons. There is definitely something going on there that us mere mortals can only grope for in the psychedelic storm happening before us. I don't know if it was just the combined effect of the uniquely enchanting lighting and the music putting me in a near unescapable trance, but I left this film feeling unexpectedly emotionally moved though for the life of me I couldn't really touch on why.
I wont soon forget this experience. Even with a sober eye I am still in awe of the effect this film had over me. It was so joyful and beautiful despite involving the murder and consumption of 8 schoolgirls. Oh Japan. Never change!
Cracked UpDirected by: Michelle Esrick
7/10
A lot of this documentary and particularly what is said about childhood trauma, trauma recovery, and mental illness, is phenomenal. However, the way it is filmed and some of its kind of awkward pacing did wear on me a bit by the end. Also, this is just a personal bias, but I am extremely uninterested in the stage play adaption of this story. This documentary was good, the book sounds incredible, but adapting it to a stage play seems like it would be just nutshell-ing the book in a much less interesting way than film or documentary can do. There are very few instances in which I feel like a stage adaption is interesting and a creative improvement to source material though, so this is definitely more bias than an actual critique of this documentary. While I am happy for Darrell to feel empowered through his stage play, the bits of this film about this stage play did not grab my interest and I found myself kind of just waiting for it to get back to psychology, biography, and everything else involved in this sensitive portrait on the lifelong effects of childhood trauma.
I knew next to nothing of Darrell Hammond going in to this. I enjoyed learning about him, completely divorced from the subject matter of the documentary, regarding his career and general talents. I was impressed with how fluidly this documentary blends general biographical info and talking heads with insight in to how childhood trauma and mental illness blends in with and contributes to every facet of Darrell's life. I'm sure its cliche to say it, but I was blown away by how brave this man is in coming forward with this story. Speaking just of his mental illness and addictions alone is a huge step towards ending the stigma surrounding these things, but to also be candid and vulnerable about his horrifying childhood trauma takes outstanding courage.
Trauma, addictions, and PTSD are things I am consistently fascinated about and something I love about these topics is that each story has something new to say and some new perspective to give us. No two stories are the same and no two recoveries are the same. The only binding force in all of these stories is the power of forgiving yourself, being kind to yourself, and accepting that sometimes the things we do believing that they are self destructive are really just survival. I found Darrell's perspective on yoga to be particularly enlightening. Many people heal through yoga, but Darrell is the first I've heard to explain it as being an empowering experience because he feels agency over his body in this activity, more than any other. Mindful and deliberate agency.
X2- Xmen UnitedDirected by: Bryan Singer
9/10
GodDAMN I love this movie.
I think there are a number of elements that really made this a step up from the first one. First of all, there appears to be a lot more emphasis on thematic elements and overarching tensions in the universe as the need for set-up is already completed by the first movie. Having all of the mutants come together against a common foe and the dialogue around it is a lot more interesting than the more simple "good guys vs Magneto" thing. I love the idea that mutants cannot be divided now, in this time of war. At this point theyre all fighting for the same cause, only with different tactics, and they have to go at it together or everyone loses. The time for peace is over, and Rogue is a bootlicking piece of shit. When fireman starts torching the cops, which were called by a young 10 year old boy Karen and were clearly going to use force on an obviously unthreatening situation, me and my friends were howling with delight over the radical based-ness of the scene. Fuck Anna Paquin always, but especially when she is stopping based fireman from torching the cops.
Rogue was also really improved on in this movie. I love the inclusion of her struggle with Bobby/Iceman and I feel it sets up nicely her decision to remove her mutation in the next film. Its hard to be in a relationships that challenges or makes impossible traditional intimacy. I felt that the depiction of this couple's struggle to be intimate with each other was tender and nuanced. I have a bias there, but I don't think it can be denied that this improved both of the characters. Sure, theyre on the wrong side and its kind of weird that Logan immediately asks them how they are having sex, but I dig it still. I really dig it.
Oh man. There are just so many iconic scenes in this one. Presidential assasination. Magneto in his dope plastic prison and his awesome escape. Nightcrawler in the old church. Iceman cooling Logans drink by blowing on it. Naked Logan flashback. Yes. So good. Nightcrawler is the fucking best though. He is inarguably the coolest Xmen of the original trilogy. I believe he also has the best dialogue by a fairly good margin. His discussions on faith, whether peaceful protest and faith has any position in times of war and revolution, and his interesting backstory, are all super engaging. Basically every time he is talking with Storm includes dialogue that is a huge step-up from the first film. In a completely different way, I really appreciate Magneto and Mystique's dialogue as well. I love that we get a glimpse at their close and gossipy relationship. I think it's a great bit of intruige that makes you wonder how long they've been in this together, and why their views compliment each other so well. Mystique and Magneto are once again completely correct- they shouldn't have to have "passing privilege", fuck the cops, and the real enemy isn't in the mutant community but with the lawmen and status-quo which oppresses them.
Finally, this is just a little thing but it matters to me: I love that Scott/Cyclops isn't made out to be a shitty boyfriend or anything just to make Logan and Jean Grey more sympathetic. No, he is actually a great guy and that makes this whole scenario so much more interesting and realistic to me- Jean Grey doesn't "deserve" Logan or anything, and we aren't really rooting for any particular side. Well, at least I'm not. I dunno, I have a soft spot for Scott. He is a good dude k?!
Deathrace 2000Directed by: Paul Bartel
7.5/10
Folks, get out there and watch this. Spectacular nudity, nazis get blown the fuck up, big ANTIFA mood, Sylvester Stalone with maximum gooberism, legitimately dope car and set design, and the hilarious "annual euthanasia day" where elderly are left on the roads to be run over for points in the Deathrace.
For real, it doesn't get better than this. Though some bits are corny and one car falls for a fucking bugs bunny roadrunner type trap (this is hilarious though, not at all a point against the quality of this film) all in all its actually shockingly good and holds up some 40 odd years later politically. Not only is it outrageously fun and genuinely hilarious but it's also a lot more intelligent than it looks, because it looks pretty fucking stupid.
Nah. I love this alternative future where Nascar is cross country and you get extra points running over people, but only the working class. Running over a religious person or important person is tabboo and bad.
The ANTIFA resistance movement in this film goes by the slogan "the age of obedience is over". Its awesome. The Hunger Games totally ripped this off but at the same time you can't really fault the author for that because while the Hunger Games focuses more on the revolution, Deathrace 2000 wraps itself up super quickly and its almost an afterthought to the fun action. Its a whole thing.
I will be laughing for the rest of my life at the image of Sylvester Stalone with oyster sauce all over his face, doing his Stalone thing, and later groping some censored boobs (heck you Tubi!).
Mad Max: Fury RoadDirected by: George Miller
10/10
"Fury Road" is cinematic art at its most breathtaking, at the absolute peak of turbo-powered insanity, stylistic and imaginative while still achieving a remarkable sense of grounded-ness and believable reality. As far as I'm concerned, this can easily be seen as a stand-alone film. I have not seen the other Mad Max movies and I don't care to. I know that they don't achieve one tenth the astounding color, energy, world building, or emotional tension that "Fury Road" does. I can't imagine anyone other than Tom Hardy with his weirdly subdued cocaine energy playing Mad Max. I don't care to watch a Mad Max film that doesn't have the same orchestraic emotion drumming along fiercely, as if part of the soundtrack itself.
Honestly, even set aside all of the mind-blowing technical aspects of this film and the spectacularly effective minimalist script & performances, this film could only ever be a solid 10/10 due to its level of intensity and gripping action alone. The stunts in this film and the variety of action elements- from the polecats, to the awesome decked out vehicles, to the post-apocalyptic and yet not at all uninteresting and totally unique desert aesthetic and character/world design- they all fit together in such a fascinating and consistently engaging way! Nothing will ever top my theatre experience when I saw this for the first time. I don't think I breathed comfortably once in 2 hours, but it was not out of fear, just pure adrenaline. Though this world is threatening, violent, and brutal- I find myself wishing I could be in it longer than the movie allows.I want to feel this sand that is so fluid and vibrant, be in these vehicles as bad-ass Guitarman shreds for eternity on the road to Valhalla, be torn apart in that fucking storm scene.
Ugh. It's just pure euphoria.
It is also fantastic feminist media. Aesthetically it seems like the last thing that would preach nurturing, female empowerment, a dissection on the societal power and spiritual value of women and childbirth, and a feminist-inspired political revolution. And yet, here we are. Mad Max may be one of my favourite pieces of feminist media. Yeah. That's odd, but it's true. I'll stand by it! Furiousa weeping for her lost Eden, destroyed by masculine greed and violence, is an icon of feminism.
Xmen 3: Last StandDirected by: Brett Ratner
7/10
This one has many hard strengths, but just as many cringe-worthy weaknesses.
The obvious and most compelling strength of this film in the franchise is the endlessly facinating and relevant political take on "curing" mutant-ism. The way they explore the moral implications and many-sided arguments for and against this concept, as well as the way these pursuits fuel revolution and empowering movements, is really well done and full of facinating nuance. It also works really well as a platform for every single character to achieve growth, find their voice, and justify their unique perspective on whichever side they end up landing on. It's just really undeniably inspired on a philosophical and writing level. Every moment spent with the many moving pieces of this idea is compelling and I can hardly believe it is a product of Marvel. Man, remember when Marvel approached things like this with interesting perspective and nuance, instead of just selling out and making the most broadly appealing flick possible? If this was done now, there sure as hell wouldn't be a third scene of the still largely sympathetic villain blowing up cop cars, I can tell you that much.
Now, lets get to Magneto. Magneto is still 100% correct and has basically said and done nothing wrong at this point save 2 instances of really embarrassing and disjointed actions that don't at all mesh with his character and point of view. And this...this is honestly what keeps this one from being the clear winner of the trilogy for me. I can safely say it was my favourite to watch, but Magneto suddenly spinning on a dime to send pawns out in to battle and abandon Mystique for no reason is kind of unforgivable. There are many reasons why these particular choices are so clearly out of character and only exist to make him a more clear-cut Marvel "bad guy". Lets dissect this a bit.
1. Magneto goes on to condemn the very weapon that changed Mystique, citing it as evidence that the humans clearly intend for this to be war. What, are we supposed to believe that he believes the gun and the person using it are evil, but if you're shot with it suddenly you are also on the side of your attacker?No. This is insane.
2. Magneto and Mystique have an established relationship that shows their affection, closeness, and allied points of view. There is no fucking way Magneto would victim blame Mystique in particular that hard, abandoning her as she is shivering in fear for something completely out of her control and done to her by his enemies.
3. Magneto has been preaching for all three movies that they are all in this together and when people try and shit-talk Xavier he is quick to remind them that Xavier did more for mutant kind than anyone else ever did or ever will. Him sending people as pawns in to a battle, especially a battle so easily won with little to no casualties, makes no sense at all.
Despite this, Magneto is generally still fucking awesome and extremely based in this finale film of the trilogy. Not only is he genuine, inclusive, and fucks the cops again, but he also again goes out of his way to preach that he by no means views Xavier or the mutants on his side as his enemies. Magneto is always consistent in his messaging- there is nothing wrong with being a mutant, and we shouldn't have to live in fear or "pass" in society. Where Xavier empowers mutants but preaches peace between mutants and humankind by encouraging his students to be proud to be mutant, but not flaunt it or make any humans uncomfortable, Magneto stands firmly against the "don't ask don't tell" mindset. Maybe instead of literally giving Phoenix a mental illness and teaching her to control herself and hide away all of her bad feelings and trauma, you should've empowered her to control her powers by not demonising them. Xavier made the safer and probably more reasonable choice, but Magneto seems to have known that this could only ever backfire in the future.
Xavier works hard to maintain the status quo and keep mutants safe, and Magneto is pushing for a revolution which has mutants be included into society. Sure, Magneto is cool with dead-ass lifting up the golden gate bridge and definitely cracking a few eggs for his omelette, but ideologically he is 100% correct. Another great player in all this is Beast. Beast is so awesome both as an intriguing character and perspective on this whole issue, as well as physically.
However, I think we can all agree, without doubt the coolest and most desirable mutant is Multiple Man. He only gets two lines in the whole film, but his existence and the implications of his ability had my husband and our friend and I talking about it well in to the late hours. Can you produce ethical slave labour if all of the clones are you? Does he feel their pain and sensations? Do they have sentience? There is so much to unpack.
I'm going to be a little sad to move on to the other Xmen films now. There is a certain engaging and charming quality to the chemistry of this cast, the effects and writing of this era, and the direction of early Bryan Singer. This being said, I'm happy to never see Anna Paquin again. God,I hate Anna Paquin.
Crazy, Stupid Love
Directed by: Glen Ficarra
N/A but 5/10
I thought this would be a "40 Year Old Virgin" but less dorky and a little more chick-flick-y. I went in with pretty low expectations to just have fun, and it was pretty cringy throughout, but I eventually had to quit in hour in after I realised I was only halfway through and I'd had all of the sexual harassment grooming I could take. Ok, many romantic comedies involve some kind of sexual harassment. In "The Notebook" Ryan Gosling tells a girl he will drop from his perilous grasp on a ferris wheel to his death if she doesn't say yes to a date with him, for example. The thing is...The Notebook goes on to be a story about other things.
The entire point of the first half of this movie is about grooming two men in to understanding how to trick women in to being with them. Part of it is teaching a 13 year old boy that he should keep harassing a girl even if she has explicitly said to and texted him "this is making me uncomfortable, please stop" because if you really love someone, you never give up. The more significant part is teaching Steve Carrell that when you approach a woman, do not offer to buy her a drink, insist. Men take what they want. You lost your manhood when you stopped doing that. A string of lessons like this, because the format of this film is mostly Ryan Gosling acting as a teacher to Steve Carrel, and what he teaches is absolutely sexual harassment (as well as how to value your self worth exclusively on how rich you are and how much you spend on clothes). Lastly, there is Emma Stone, who is deemed to hot to be dating her nice boyfriend. Much of the film revolves around people determining whether they are or aren't hot enough to be dating X person, and their friends filling in their opinions on this too.
Now, I'm not about to say this cliche is always like this. There are story lines that involve someone determining that they are "better than" the person they are dating. There is a storyline in the tv show "Love" that has a woman realising her current boyfriend is holding her back, she isn't interested in him any more, and she has better chemistry with another dude who is yes more handsome, but also more grown up and suited to her in other ways too. The 40 Year Old Virgin does also involve some "grooming", but this is less about how to guilt women in to drinking at a bar with you and more about how to feel confident about yourself and your body, and the conclusion ultimately posits that Steve Carrel can be his dorky self while also having sex with a woman. Finally, nearly all coming of age films for boys show them at some point in a cringy fake relationship with a woman who isn't interested. However, the point is never "never give up son. You'll wear her down eventually" but is instead "grow up son. You don't know yourself yet".
Now, I did quit the movie before I saw the end. Out of curiosity, I googled the ending, and I'm still ok with quitting halfway through. This wasn't going to be my jam and it honestly made me feel pretty uncomfortable for most of it, even if Steve Carrel's delivery of the word "cuckhold" 8 times in a row made me chuckle and Ryan Gosling was of course brilliantly handsome.
Ratatouille
Directed by: Brad Bird
9/10
This is the coziest film. Other than Rango, I can't think of an animated film that looks better than this. Everything works together in such a charming and welcoming harmony- the beautiful soundtrack, the soft and appealing animation and setting, the character designs, the incredible food! Everything. Anthony Bourdain has said this is his favourite film about food. He notes that the details, down to little burn marks on the fore arms and the way food interacts with each other, is so pristine and respectfully perfect. He feels this movie really captures the joy and warmth of food as a passion and piece of universal connection with each other, and I agree.
There are times when its a bit Pixar and a bit corny and G-rated, but when you're in the mood for a wholesome morsel of warm apple pie, Ratatouille hits the spot!
Melancholia
Directed by: Lars Von Trier
6.5/10
First off, don't worry. I didn't pay for this one. We did not give the self professed nazi any money.
With that out of the way, I have to say that as the first Lars Von Trier film I've seen, I was both blown away and pretty bored with this. conceptually I think this film is absolutely brilliant. The more my husband and I discussed it, the deeper the metaphors got and the more interesting the overall message and idea of the film became. The first nine minutes of this movie are jaw-droppingly gorgeous and there are a handful of scenes that really blew me away from a creative standpoint. As a film explicitly about crippling depression, I think it gets a lot of things right and displays the existential struggles as well as the social and personal struggles of dealing with this level of depression in a smart and effective way that blends all three aspects together really well. The overarching metaphor of Melancholia, depression, and helplessness in the face of inconvenient disaster was consistently compelling too, at least in a think space.
The thing is, I can't say I really enjoyed this film. I enjoy a lot of films that are difficult to watch and I love a good slow burn, but "Melancholia" makes some choices that kept me from ever feeling truly engaged. For one thing, while I understand the conceptual reason that the first act exists (You see!? It's almost like none of this shit actually matters because they are doomed anyways! And the only one who understands this and accepts it is someone who is constantly facing doom in the face of depression and suicidal thoughts!), I still maintain that it was way too long and mostly didn't really have to be there. I really believe most of what was conveyed and shown in that first act could've been done in half an hour instead of a full hour, and even tat would've still allowed for some Lars Von Trier level indulgence. This isn't to say I feel the second act is particularly tight either. At least half of the scenes in this movie drag and you feel like you're constantly just waiting for something to happen (kind of like a planet hitting the Earth) or something interesting to be said or shown. This film does feel melancholy often, but it is even more boring.
Kirsten Duntzt does have a great performance in this though. I truly felt her deadness inside every time the focus was turned to her. Despite it having a really strong and engaging opening and closing scene, most of this fell flat for me. But, again, I want to emphasise that poetically and conceptually this film is brilliant. This is a really great film to talk about, but a less great film to watch. I would feel mean saying that, but Lars Von Trier is a nazi, so fuck em'.
Galaxy Quest
The obvious and most compelling strength of this film in the franchise is the endlessly facinating and relevant political take on "curing" mutant-ism. The way they explore the moral implications and many-sided arguments for and against this concept, as well as the way these pursuits fuel revolution and empowering movements, is really well done and full of facinating nuance. It also works really well as a platform for every single character to achieve growth, find their voice, and justify their unique perspective on whichever side they end up landing on. It's just really undeniably inspired on a philosophical and writing level. Every moment spent with the many moving pieces of this idea is compelling and I can hardly believe it is a product of Marvel. Man, remember when Marvel approached things like this with interesting perspective and nuance, instead of just selling out and making the most broadly appealing flick possible? If this was done now, there sure as hell wouldn't be a third scene of the still largely sympathetic villain blowing up cop cars, I can tell you that much.
Now, lets get to Magneto. Magneto is still 100% correct and has basically said and done nothing wrong at this point save 2 instances of really embarrassing and disjointed actions that don't at all mesh with his character and point of view. And this...this is honestly what keeps this one from being the clear winner of the trilogy for me. I can safely say it was my favourite to watch, but Magneto suddenly spinning on a dime to send pawns out in to battle and abandon Mystique for no reason is kind of unforgivable. There are many reasons why these particular choices are so clearly out of character and only exist to make him a more clear-cut Marvel "bad guy". Lets dissect this a bit.
1. Magneto goes on to condemn the very weapon that changed Mystique, citing it as evidence that the humans clearly intend for this to be war. What, are we supposed to believe that he believes the gun and the person using it are evil, but if you're shot with it suddenly you are also on the side of your attacker?No. This is insane.
2. Magneto and Mystique have an established relationship that shows their affection, closeness, and allied points of view. There is no fucking way Magneto would victim blame Mystique in particular that hard, abandoning her as she is shivering in fear for something completely out of her control and done to her by his enemies.
3. Magneto has been preaching for all three movies that they are all in this together and when people try and shit-talk Xavier he is quick to remind them that Xavier did more for mutant kind than anyone else ever did or ever will. Him sending people as pawns in to a battle, especially a battle so easily won with little to no casualties, makes no sense at all.
Despite this, Magneto is generally still fucking awesome and extremely based in this finale film of the trilogy. Not only is he genuine, inclusive, and fucks the cops again, but he also again goes out of his way to preach that he by no means views Xavier or the mutants on his side as his enemies. Magneto is always consistent in his messaging- there is nothing wrong with being a mutant, and we shouldn't have to live in fear or "pass" in society. Where Xavier empowers mutants but preaches peace between mutants and humankind by encouraging his students to be proud to be mutant, but not flaunt it or make any humans uncomfortable, Magneto stands firmly against the "don't ask don't tell" mindset. Maybe instead of literally giving Phoenix a mental illness and teaching her to control herself and hide away all of her bad feelings and trauma, you should've empowered her to control her powers by not demonising them. Xavier made the safer and probably more reasonable choice, but Magneto seems to have known that this could only ever backfire in the future.
Xavier works hard to maintain the status quo and keep mutants safe, and Magneto is pushing for a revolution which has mutants be included into society. Sure, Magneto is cool with dead-ass lifting up the golden gate bridge and definitely cracking a few eggs for his omelette, but ideologically he is 100% correct. Another great player in all this is Beast. Beast is so awesome both as an intriguing character and perspective on this whole issue, as well as physically.
However, I think we can all agree, without doubt the coolest and most desirable mutant is Multiple Man. He only gets two lines in the whole film, but his existence and the implications of his ability had my husband and our friend and I talking about it well in to the late hours. Can you produce ethical slave labour if all of the clones are you? Does he feel their pain and sensations? Do they have sentience? There is so much to unpack.
I'm going to be a little sad to move on to the other Xmen films now. There is a certain engaging and charming quality to the chemistry of this cast, the effects and writing of this era, and the direction of early Bryan Singer. This being said, I'm happy to never see Anna Paquin again. God,I hate Anna Paquin.
Directed by: Glen Ficarra
N/A but 5/10
I thought this would be a "40 Year Old Virgin" but less dorky and a little more chick-flick-y. I went in with pretty low expectations to just have fun, and it was pretty cringy throughout, but I eventually had to quit in hour in after I realised I was only halfway through and I'd had all of the sexual harassment grooming I could take. Ok, many romantic comedies involve some kind of sexual harassment. In "The Notebook" Ryan Gosling tells a girl he will drop from his perilous grasp on a ferris wheel to his death if she doesn't say yes to a date with him, for example. The thing is...The Notebook goes on to be a story about other things.
The entire point of the first half of this movie is about grooming two men in to understanding how to trick women in to being with them. Part of it is teaching a 13 year old boy that he should keep harassing a girl even if she has explicitly said to and texted him "this is making me uncomfortable, please stop" because if you really love someone, you never give up. The more significant part is teaching Steve Carrell that when you approach a woman, do not offer to buy her a drink, insist. Men take what they want. You lost your manhood when you stopped doing that. A string of lessons like this, because the format of this film is mostly Ryan Gosling acting as a teacher to Steve Carrel, and what he teaches is absolutely sexual harassment (as well as how to value your self worth exclusively on how rich you are and how much you spend on clothes). Lastly, there is Emma Stone, who is deemed to hot to be dating her nice boyfriend. Much of the film revolves around people determining whether they are or aren't hot enough to be dating X person, and their friends filling in their opinions on this too.
Now, I'm not about to say this cliche is always like this. There are story lines that involve someone determining that they are "better than" the person they are dating. There is a storyline in the tv show "Love" that has a woman realising her current boyfriend is holding her back, she isn't interested in him any more, and she has better chemistry with another dude who is yes more handsome, but also more grown up and suited to her in other ways too. The 40 Year Old Virgin does also involve some "grooming", but this is less about how to guilt women in to drinking at a bar with you and more about how to feel confident about yourself and your body, and the conclusion ultimately posits that Steve Carrel can be his dorky self while also having sex with a woman. Finally, nearly all coming of age films for boys show them at some point in a cringy fake relationship with a woman who isn't interested. However, the point is never "never give up son. You'll wear her down eventually" but is instead "grow up son. You don't know yourself yet".
Now, I did quit the movie before I saw the end. Out of curiosity, I googled the ending, and I'm still ok with quitting halfway through. This wasn't going to be my jam and it honestly made me feel pretty uncomfortable for most of it, even if Steve Carrel's delivery of the word "cuckhold" 8 times in a row made me chuckle and Ryan Gosling was of course brilliantly handsome.
Ratatouille Directed by: Brad Bird
9/10
This is the coziest film. Other than Rango, I can't think of an animated film that looks better than this. Everything works together in such a charming and welcoming harmony- the beautiful soundtrack, the soft and appealing animation and setting, the character designs, the incredible food! Everything. Anthony Bourdain has said this is his favourite film about food. He notes that the details, down to little burn marks on the fore arms and the way food interacts with each other, is so pristine and respectfully perfect. He feels this movie really captures the joy and warmth of food as a passion and piece of universal connection with each other, and I agree.
There are times when its a bit Pixar and a bit corny and G-rated, but when you're in the mood for a wholesome morsel of warm apple pie, Ratatouille hits the spot!
MelancholiaDirected by: Lars Von Trier
6.5/10
First off, don't worry. I didn't pay for this one. We did not give the self professed nazi any money.
With that out of the way, I have to say that as the first Lars Von Trier film I've seen, I was both blown away and pretty bored with this. conceptually I think this film is absolutely brilliant. The more my husband and I discussed it, the deeper the metaphors got and the more interesting the overall message and idea of the film became. The first nine minutes of this movie are jaw-droppingly gorgeous and there are a handful of scenes that really blew me away from a creative standpoint. As a film explicitly about crippling depression, I think it gets a lot of things right and displays the existential struggles as well as the social and personal struggles of dealing with this level of depression in a smart and effective way that blends all three aspects together really well. The overarching metaphor of Melancholia, depression, and helplessness in the face of inconvenient disaster was consistently compelling too, at least in a think space.
The thing is, I can't say I really enjoyed this film. I enjoy a lot of films that are difficult to watch and I love a good slow burn, but "Melancholia" makes some choices that kept me from ever feeling truly engaged. For one thing, while I understand the conceptual reason that the first act exists (You see!? It's almost like none of this shit actually matters because they are doomed anyways! And the only one who understands this and accepts it is someone who is constantly facing doom in the face of depression and suicidal thoughts!), I still maintain that it was way too long and mostly didn't really have to be there. I really believe most of what was conveyed and shown in that first act could've been done in half an hour instead of a full hour, and even tat would've still allowed for some Lars Von Trier level indulgence. This isn't to say I feel the second act is particularly tight either. At least half of the scenes in this movie drag and you feel like you're constantly just waiting for something to happen (kind of like a planet hitting the Earth) or something interesting to be said or shown. This film does feel melancholy often, but it is even more boring.
Kirsten Duntzt does have a great performance in this though. I truly felt her deadness inside every time the focus was turned to her. Despite it having a really strong and engaging opening and closing scene, most of this fell flat for me. But, again, I want to emphasise that poetically and conceptually this film is brilliant. This is a really great film to talk about, but a less great film to watch. I would feel mean saying that, but Lars Von Trier is a nazi, so fuck em'.
Directed by: Dean Parisot
9/10
This is a genuine and affectionately made spoof that I found myself surprisingly enjoying a good deal.
One of the highest praises I can give this film is that even having never seen a single minute of Star Trek and had zero interaction with the fanbase and celebrity of it, I feel like I know and understand it now. "Galaxy Quest" has done what decades of existing around Trekies and an hour's drive from Vulcan could never do.
I also appreciate that there are several layers of satire going on not just on the source material of Star Trek, but also on the fanbase, philosophy, and external reality of the actors and their relationship to all of the above. The interplay of all of these sources of satire is interesting, entertaining, and feels organic in a way not all satire/spoof can accomplish. It is also just genuinely funny and a great time. I can see myself coming back to this for an easy laugh and an enjoyable ride.
Also, Tim Allen is good for the first time since Toy Story, and possibly the only time since then too. It was strange to see him in this, having existed only as a grunting meme for me for at least 10 years now. One can only wonder what Tim Allen could possibly up to now. My bet is garages. Building garages.
I also appreciate that there are several layers of satire going on not just on the source material of Star Trek, but also on the fanbase, philosophy, and external reality of the actors and their relationship to all of the above. The interplay of all of these sources of satire is interesting, entertaining, and feels organic in a way not all satire/spoof can accomplish. It is also just genuinely funny and a great time. I can see myself coming back to this for an easy laugh and an enjoyable ride.
Also, Tim Allen is good for the first time since Toy Story, and possibly the only time since then too. It was strange to see him in this, having existed only as a grunting meme for me for at least 10 years now. One can only wonder what Tim Allen could possibly up to now. My bet is garages. Building garages.
Video Games
SparkliteDeveloped by: Red Blue Games
N/A
I didn't finish this game. I probably played about 20% of it. Honestly, it's just a way less interesting Moonlighter. A lot of aspects of this game are nearly identical to Moonlighter, but with none of the satisfying game loop or learning curve. In general, Sparklite is too easy but it is also criminally slow. I lost to the easiest boss fight several times just because I was impatient and couldn't believe I could only kill it in the slowest least interesting way possible.
I think this game probably has potential and I may have grown to enjoy it, but I couldn't be bothered about 20 minutes of gameplay after the first boss, so I gave up.
Cave StoryCreated by: Daisuke Amaya
N/A
I also didn't finish this one. I'm a bad gamer for quitting Cave Story.
The thing is, I'm leaving this understanding why this game is important to the history of indie games. I understand it's influenced, I watched a couple video essays, and I had fun for a little bit but eventually the backtracking and really simple combat made me a little bored. The character dialogue and overall story didn't strike me as particularly interesting either.
But I want to make it clear I'm not shitting on Cave Story. Not only do I understand its historical importance and influence, but I like how cohesively weird the environment and tone of this game is. I never felt particularly "sucked in" or addicted to this and even though I only played about half of it, a couple hours maybe, it did feel a bit like a slog.
The one thing I loved about Cave Story and will carry with me is its soundtrack. Both the original and remastered soundtracks were incredible and super catchy. Long after I'd deleted the game and stopped caring about it, the soundtrack would creep its way in to my morning walks. It is so funky and loud and 8-bit-y but not at all unpolished or anything. I love it and may even download it on Spotify. The soundtrack is a solid 8/10 on its own!
Clubhouse GamesCreated by: Nintendo
8.5/10
I had the original Clubhouse Games on my Nintendo DS way back in the day. It was one of my favorite games and I played countless hours of President on it while on the bus to school every morning. I honestly think this particular DS game may have been the catalyst to my acquiring the love for card and board games. Though I could never play them with real people, learning the various strategies behind classic games was really engaging for me then and it is equally satisfying for me now. There are a few key differences between the DS version and this one- the Switch version is missing a couple classic card games (such as Hearts, Rummy, Doubt, Spades, and multiple versions of poker), has the inclusion of more world-wide games, and allows for online and couch co-op. I was honestly pretty bummed to see how many card games had been cut out in place of a couple silly toy games, but at the same time I think expanding their library and focus on to international games is interesting and a natural development in the series. The couch co-op is fine for two people, but the 3 & 4 player options and the bizarre distinction between the free guest pass available only for local play vs having it available for online play with friends is really baffling and frustrating.
There is no reason why Nintendo shouldn't have really focused on making this game more co-op friendly. The appeal of this game screams for more co-op potential! Everyone knows games are more fun with others and while playing online with strangers is pretty cool, there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to enjoy backgammon with my friends in Calgary through the guest pass when for some reason its only offered for local play. Also, even in couch co-op and local play, the 3 and 4 player games available are laughably scarce. There are only three games that can be played with 4 players, despite over half of them being turn-based and could easily be adapted for this. For instance, bowling and darts. Bowling should hypothetically be able to accommodate infinite players, but the game insists only two players can do it.
Despite the poorly thought out online and co-op capabilities, this game is still a blast to play even just on single player! The inclusion of more international games has increased my knowledge of many Japanese strategy games and honestly Mancala alone is almost worth the price of admission. My husband and I frequently play Mancala together and its interesting to see how much strategy is involved the more you play it. Another thing to note about the Switch's version of this game is that the aesthetic, game play, and soundtrack are incredibly smooth. Everything looks and plays incredibly good and it's a wonderfully relaxing experience to sit down and play through a handful of your favourites. The collection of stats, medals, trophies, and other various rewards (the huge collection of skins and soundtrack options from the DS game are sorely missed though) make it easy to go back to time and time again. Also, I honestly just love playing Yahtzee online. There is something emotionally compelling about feeling another's frustration through the screen as they fail over and over to roll that large straight. Something kind of evil and delicious.
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